


Shared kisses

by orphan_account



Series: Like we're gonna die young [1]
Category: The Hobbit (2012), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Awkward Kissing, Jealousy, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Sibling Incest, Soulmates, no small amount of denial, other tags to come, soulmarks AU, the unofficial title of this fic is SoulMarks Suck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-25
Updated: 2013-06-24
Packaged: 2017-12-06 11:11:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 35,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/735015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kili had been waiting for years for his soulmark to finally appear. When it finally did, he wished it hadn't. Finding out your one true love was none other than your brother was not something he'd wish to anyone.<br/>But as the brothers struggle to accept that change in their relationship, they discover that soulmarks are sometimes more complicated than expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I know I said I wouldn't start anything new, buuuuut I was talking with Alckalin last night about our issues with Fili/Kili, and how mostly it bothered us that more often than not, fics just brushed over the fact that they are brother and made everyone accept it as perfectly normal.  
> And since we had that soulmark AU that we had discussed, I just started writing and this happened, and I'm not even sorry.

 Fili's mark had appeared two years before, just where his neck met his shoulder, and he'd been insufferable since then. It was a nice enough mark, Kili had to admit it. Some were ugly, but that one was very nice, forming a cross with four dots between its branches, and above that, the symbol of his soulmate's family. Apparently, Fili was destined to be with someone of the line of Durin. That meant someone from the Iron Hills probably, since they had many cousins there.

“Bet it's a pretty girl with large breasts,” Fili liked to say whenever he examined the mark with a bit of silverware.

“Bet it's an ugly old warrior with scars everywhere,” Kili always replied. His mark was taking far too long to appear, or so he thought. They knew their uncle's had appeared with he was almost a hundred, awfully late as far as these things were concerned, and Kili hoped he wouldn't be like Thorin.

When, at last, his own neck started itching, the dark haired prince took every occasion to check on it, hoping it would have appeared.

And when it finally came out, Kili wished it hadn't. He knew that mark only too well.

Fili had shown it to him too often to make a mistake. It was the exact same shape, a cross with four dots between the branches.

Looking at him made him feel almost sick.

It was not unheard of, for family members to be soulmates. Rare, but not impossible. And Fili and him had always been so close, closer than most brothers maybe, but it was still so unexpected. He didn't love Fili, not in that way. Did he? He couldn't really picture himself being intimate with him, but maybe that would come later? It certainly would. Marks never lied. Or maybe they did? Maybe it wasn't a proper mark? Maybe it was just a very strange bruise? He'd been working a lot at the forge these last few days, and he was always so clumsy, it was nothing unusual for him to get bruises. That had to be it.

He hoped it was it.

Until then, he'd have to hide it. He couldn't risk having Fili, or anyone else, see it. It'd be...

“Hey, there you are!” Fili exclaimed. “Not looking at your mark again, are you?”

Kili's blood turned to ice, and he hurriedly pulled his tunic back on his shoulder. He was not fast enough.

“So it's there at last?” Fili teased. “Congratulations! Come on, show it to me! Do you know which family it is?”

“I don't think it's a good idea, Fee. I'm not sure it's a Mark at all. I think I just hurt myself.”

“Don't be dumb,” the blonde prince laughed, pulling at his brother's tunic. “You've been itching for days, we both know what it means. Let me see now!”

“I don't want to!”

“You're an idiot. What, it's ugly or something? Well, we can't all have a classy mark like mine, Kee. Come on, stop fighting and show it!”

Kili tried to push him away, but Fili took his resistance for a dare and fought back until he managed to pin his little brother to the ground and to pull at his collar to see the Mark.

Fili froze when he saw it, and Kili felt tears of frustration at the corners of his eyes.

“It's just a bruise,” he sobbed. “It's a bruise, it's nothing more, it doesn't mean anything.”

The blonde had gone pale, but still found the strength to delicately brush a finger against the dark drawing. They both shivered at the contact.

“That's no bruise,” Fili whispered. “And you know it, Kee. It's... Mahal, what are we going to _do_? Can you imagine uncle's reaction, or mother's?”

“We can't tell them! We can't tell _anyone_! It's not true, it's not _true_! It's a _mistake_!”

“The Maker makes... no mistakes, Kee. It's... damn, it's the same mark, and we... they'll know, they'll all know, sooner or later!”

“Later then,” Kili cried, pulling his tunic up his neck to hide again the mark. “Not now, we can't tell them now, we can't tell anyone. Swear you'll keep it secret!”

“Kee...”

“Swear it! Swear it or I'll leave and never come back again, never see you again!”

Fili's eyes widened at the threat, and at the state of absolute panic in his brother eyes.

“I swear Kee, I won't say a thing to anyone! It's okay, it won't change anything, I promise you it won't ever change anything. You'll still be my baby brother, and nothing has to change. I don't want things to change. It'll be okay. Everything will be fine.”

To prove his point, he tried to hug his brother, to show that things were still the same and that it would take more than a stupid Mark to change them, but Kili screamed and pushed him again, looking horrified.

“I think I want to be alone for now,” he mumbled. “Don't think I'll be coming at dinner t'night. Tell mum. Need to think.”

“Of course, Kee,” Fili replied, trying not to sound too hurt, and failing terribly. “Anything you want. I'll... I'll tell them you're sick, if you want. That way, Ma will keep you something for later, okay?”

“Do what you want. I don't care. Just want to be _alone_.”

Fili nodded, and stood up to leave. In the time it took him to reach the door, Kili had started crying, and the blond prince almost ran to him to take him in his arms and promise that he'd set things right. He resisted, though. That was no longer an option.

Everything would be different now.

* * *

 

They avoided each other during the following weeks, until Dis decided that whatever arguments they'd had was annoying and she ordered them to make up. They made an effort after that, and hid it better when there were people around, but the new distance between them was still there. Fili accepted most of it, because Kili needed space and time to accept his Mark, even though it hurt so much to be losing him over something so stupid.

Soulmates or not, they were still brothers, for the Maker's sake, and that should have been the most important.

Fili snapped when he realized that Kili had taken to sleeping entirely dressed since his Mark had appeared.

“Just because my bed is next to yours and you've got a stupid drawing on your neck, I'll jump you if I see an inch of your skin?” he exploded. “Is that really what you think of me?”

“No! I'm just trying to make this easier!”

“What, by treating me like a monster? I've told you, Kee, it doesn't _have_ to change anything, as long as we don't let it change us! Seriously, what are you afraid of? You didn't start drooling all over me when I change, so why should _I_ do it?”

Kili mumbled something, his cheeks red as copper.

“What was that?”

“I said I don't drool, but I'm looking a bit,” Kili grumbled miserably. “I don't even know if I like it, or even if I want it, but I... think about things.”

“You _what_?”

“It's just that I've been wanting my Mark for so long!” the dark haired dwarf whined. “And I always tried to imagine what it'd be like, and the things I'd get to do with my One, and I wanted it _so much_ , and now all I've got is... _you_.”

“Oh, Kee...”

Rushing to his brother, Fili took him in his arms and held him tight. Kili tensed at first, but soon relaxed and returned the hug. After weeks of avoiding any contact, it felt so good to be touching again that Fili had to fight back tears. One way or another the Mark was right, and they belonged together.

“We can try it, if you'd like,” Fili whispered. “I mean. We're... we're soulmates. We're each others' One, there's no denying it. If you want... I'm okay, if you want.”

“Yeah, you sure sound okay.”

“I am! Look, we could... maybe, just try kissing or something? That's... that'd be safe, right? Everyone says kissing your One is s'pposed to be the best thing ever. Maybe... if you want to, I want it too.”

“Just one then,” Kili mumbled. “Just to try.”

Fili nodded, and pulled back a little from their hug, taking his brother's cheek in his hand. He could do that. They were soulmates. It was meant to be. He could do that. He lowered his head, and...

“Shit, that's really weird,” Kili whispered.

“Yeah... still want to do it?”

“We've got to try, I'd say, or we'll never know, right?”

Fili nodded, and pressed his lips hard against his brother's. And he waited. Kissing your soulmate for the first time was supposed to be a unique experience that filled you with warmth and happiness and the certainty that things were the way they were supposed to be. But for the moment, Fili only felt terribly awkward, and a little horrified by the idea that he was _kissing his own brother_.

It was Kili who pulled back first, and he didn't look a lot more convinced.

“That was probably the worst first kiss in the history of first kisses,” he noted, wiping his mouth with his sleeve. “Is it always like that?”

“Don't know, it was my first too. Maybe the very first is supposed to be a little shitty? We could always try again another time and see.”

“Maybe. But not tonight,” Kili decided. “I think that's enough weirdness for one night, and I'm tired. Still... thanks for trying this?”

“Anything for my baby brother. Well, almost anything. Kisses are about as far as I'm willing to go, honestly.”

“Yeah. Urgh! That was one mental image I did _not_ need, thank you very much.”

He pulled such a funny face then that Fili couldn't help laughing. Kili grumbled a little, but soon joined his hilarity, and for a few moments, it felt like nothing had changed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> soulmarks suck, and no one in their right mind should want one.  
> And then, some more kissing happen.

“Uncle Thorin is going South for some time, and he offered me to go with him."

The news surprised Kili, though it probably shouldn't have. Fili was Thorin's heir after all, and their uncle had wanted to take him on his trips for years now. The only thing that had prevented it before was that Fili had not wanted to leave his brother alone, but now...

Now Kili had to admit it was probably for the best if he _was_ left alone.

They'd tried it all. They had tried remaining just brothers, because that should have been the most comfortable, really. They had been brothers all their lives, it should have been the natural option to choose. But their Marks were still there, a constant reminded that one way or another, they would never again be just brothers. So they had tried being more, for the sake of experiment, but the few kisses they had exchanged had been painfully awkward, and not particularly pleasing. They were officially the worst soulmates in the entire history of dwarves.

It happened, sometimes. They had asked Balin, who knew everything, and Ori, the little scribe who lived not too far. They had both given the same answer. Sometimes, even though you were meant to be together, it just didn't work, because something was missing, or not the way it should be. And you had to wait until things became right. If they ever did. Sometimes, very rarely, dwarves never found what was missing.

And until then, the Marks remained between them, pushing them apart when they were meant to bring them closer.

When Thorin had offered Fili a place in the company that was to travel South with him, the blond prince hadn't hesitated. Distance and separation couldn't hurt more than being with Kili and never knowing what they could or could not do, which hug would be brotherly and what touch would seem like flirting. The uncertainty of it all was more than they could take, and they both knew it.

"Bring me back something," Kili said once he'd digested the news. "Something nice. Uncle's present are always horrible. You've got to find me something I like."

"I'm not going there for shopping, you know." Fili replied with a smile. "If you want a present, buy it yourself."

"But it's not the same if I'm the one buying it, there's no surprise! Come on, promise you'll get me something nice, and I'll make sure to have a surprise for you too!"

"Didn't know you wanted presents so badly," Fili said, suddenly very serious. Gifts were an important part of any courting process. Was that what Kili was getting at? He didn't feel ready for such a thing, he was fairly sure he didn't even _want_ it, but if Kili did...

"If you promise me a present, you'll have to come back and bring it to me," Kili explained, and Fili relaxed. "I'm just trying to trick you into staying alive, you idiot."

Fili laughed, all worry gone. "That actually makes sense, you know. Fine, I'll bring you something. And you'd better have something amazing ready for me when I come back, because there's no way you're getting anything from me otherwise."

"That's a deal then."

* * *

 

Fili had left with Thorin a few days later. Kili had done his best to keep busy, to prove everyone how well he was handling it. And there was no choice. With Fili and Thorin gone, he simply had to work twice as hard in the forge, to help his mother handle all the commissions they had received lately. After years of struggling things were finally becoming better for them.

But once Dis and him got used to working together, and after they had caught up with their work, Kili started feeling lonely. He loved his mother, and but talking to her could never be like talking to Fili, and he was starting to regret never making more efforts to make friends beside his brother.

It didn't help that the only dwarves his age that didn't live a week away from them were Gimli, who was twenty years younger than him and therefore boring and childish, and Ori, who was. Well. He was _Ori_. He read and wrote and he had lived among humans for years as he learnt to be a copyist and a scribe, and everyone knew there was something not entirely dwarvish about him. Some said that his father might have been a man (unlikely, considering the lad's height) or one of those soft little shirelings that lived not so far from the mountains. Everyone knew that Ori's mother had been a little... liberal with her affection, after the dragon had killed her husband.

And yet, things had reached a point where Ori was better than nothing. He needed to talk to someone, anyone.

Ori seemed glad enough to fill that role, as long as he wasn't required to talk back and that he was allowed to keep working when Kili was there. It hadn't seemed like the best of beginnings, until Kili had realized that the younger dwarf usually tolerated no company and no noise when he was working.

It was not so bad, in the end. Ori was a great listener if nothing else, and when he deigned to speak, he was a rather funny little lad. Half his jokes were impossible to understand because they mixed sindarin, westron and khuzdul, but he did some very good imitations, when he felt like it.

His Thorin was _particularly_ good, and more than once Kili found himself laughing so hard he thought he might choke to death.

At first, Kili had feared that Ori would try to talk to him about Fili. People always wanted to ask him questions about his brother. Fili was widely regarded as the most interesting of the pair, because he was Thorin's heir, because he was a proper warrior, because he was so handsome that Kili was sure his brother had stolen his share of good looks. Everyone wanted to talk about Fili. Everyone, but not Ori, who never said a word about him.

* * *

 

"It's never easy, family," the young scholar once sighed, as the were sitting in his kitchen. "I love my brothers, but no matter how hard they try, they can't get along. Not that they try too hard. It's probably for the best that Nori's never around, or it'd be nothing but fights all day long. You know?"

Kili shook his head. His own family usually got along fairly well, when Fate did not try to mess with them. Which was a thing that happened more often that was necessary, to be honest.

"Sometimes Ma and Thorin have an argument, because uncle is a complete idiot according to her, but it never last and the next day they're laughing together again."

"I was thinking more of you and Fili actually," Ori explained, scratching his shoulder. "Everyone says he left because you had a row. Oh! Sorry, I didn't mean... I know it upsets you to talk about him, sorry! Forget I said anything!"

"We didn't have a row! Who said that? He's just... He's the heir, he had to go... But we didn't have a row!"

Ori blushed, and the hand on his shoulder halted. "Sorry, I didn't mean to give you offence. It's just, you were always the two of you before, and then for some times you never were together, and then he left, and... well, that's not any business of mine of course. Sorry if I put my nose somewhere I shouldn't..."

"Don't worry, it's..."

"Oh, blast that dratted itching!" Ori suddenly exploded. Kili jumped in surprise, and noticed there were traces of blood seeping through the other's shirt.

"Are you hurt?" the prince worried. "Should I call your brother?"

"Please don't! I mean, it's not necessary, I... I'm fine. I've been itching badly for a week or two, and sometimes I scratch it too hard and the scabs don't heal very well, that's all."

If anything, that explanation had Kili even more worried.

"Is your Mark already coming out then?"

"Maybe? I don't know. I haven't told Dori, 'cause talking of that makes him all upset and sad. I don't really believe in Marks, anyway, so I don't know if that's what it is. Nori ain't got one, and I'm pretty sure I'll be the same. That... that's just some bug that bit me too hard."

“Heard that one before,” Kili grumbled, recalling how he had hoped his own Mark might be a bruise. “And what do you mean, Nori doesn't have one? _Everyone_ has a Mark.”

“Not my brother, and probably not me either. That's 'cause our mum got pregnant from people who weren't her One, or so Dori says. And, well, I don't really mind. That whole soulmate thing, it's a bit stupid, isn't it? I don't need anyone else to be happy, as long as I got my work.”

Kili grinned. “Yeah, you'd be that kind of dwarf then? The sort that's all about their craft? I sort of wish I were like you, to be honest. It must be easier.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, this whole soulmate thing, it's a bit of a hassle, you know? And so many people never find them, or they do and... and it causes more problems than it brings good stuff. I mean, you're supposed to get all sort of positive things from finding your One, but it's really not nearly as easy as they say in the stories.”

“You've found yours, then?” Ori asked, curiosity written all over his face.

Kili hesitated. “I'm... not really sure,” he lied. “I think, maybe?”

In normal circumstances, he would never have seen Fili's mark, not so early, not when they weren't even courting. You had to be terribly in love with someone to show them your mark, and even then it had to be a mutual decision. Showing it to your kin was allowed of course, but that was because normally, your One wasn't _supposed_ to be among them.

“I'm really not sure at all, because it didn't turn out the way it should have,” Kili explained. He wasn't sure why he felt the need to talk about it, but Ori had always been a great listener so far, and it had been on his mind for far too long.

“You see, we tried to kiss,” he continued. “And it's supposed to be thing amazing and magical moment, when you kiss your One, but it... just... wasn't. It was just weird and awkward and it didn't feel that good, and... why are you _laughing_?”

“I'm not!” Ori sniggered, a hand on his mouth to muffle the sounds. “Mahal, I swear I'm not laughing! But... come on, you don't really believe that about the magical first kiss and all?”

Kili glared at him. “Of course I believe in it. That's how it happen for everyone!”

“Grown ups lie, my prince. Everyone's first kiss is crappy, trust me. Mine was bloody awful, I almost choked on her tongue. Not very nice. But you get better with time, usually.”

Kili frowned.

“But... you don't have a Mark yet, right? So... you can't have known if she was your One, and...”

“I'd be pretty boring if I could only kiss someone who might be my One,” Ori replied with a grin. “And I've told you, I think I'll be like Nori and not have a soulmate anyway. So I get to kiss whoever I want, as long as Dori doesn't find out about it. Hey, I could kiss _you_ , if you wanted!”

The young dwarf was smiling widely, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

It wasn't. You didn't kiss just anyone. It wasn't right. It was something humans did, because their lives were short and they couldn't afford to spend time properly finding the one Fate meant them to have. But dwarves were a better sort than that. Dwarves took years to decide if a person might be their One, and then years again to court them, and only once they were sure, they would show their Mark and kiss. That was how it was supposed to go. That was what was proper and good.

On the other hand, Ori was nice, his lips looked soft, and even if he didn't have the experience he claimed, he could never be a worse kisser than Fili.

“Is that a serious offer or is it a joke?”

“It's serious if you want it to be? Been ages since I've had any fun with someone. Dori is always around, and dwarves around here are so... _traditional_. I miss living with the men, it's easier there. So, well, I know you have someone of course, but it could be fun? Think of it as practice or something? Then you'll be good enough when you kiss your boyfriend again, and you'll get you magical soulmate kiss.”

“You _are_ making fun of me!” Kili accused.

“Maybe a little,” Ori admitted with a smirk. “But I just don't see the point of being serious with that? It's just a bit of fun, and if you can't laugh about it, then you're not doing it right.

“That's a weird way of seeing it.”

Ori shrugged, but he no longer seemed as confident. “I'm a weird dwarf, everyone knows it. If you want to be friend with someone normal, you should go with Gimli. Everyone knows he thinks you and your brother are the best thing since they invented war-hammers. _He_ won't tell you anything strange and he won't make you do anything _undwarvish_.”

“I didn't mean...”

“Yeah, no one never means anything,” Ori grumbled sadly. “Look, it was a stupid idea, let's say it was just a joke, and...”

“I want to!” Kili quickly interrupted. “If you want to, I want to.”

“What?”

“Kissing you. I'm okay with it. Just... Just one, to try? I want to see if you're really as good at it as you say you are.”

Ori eyed him suspiciously, and Kili blushed. It _was_ a stupid idea. Maybe the young scribe was free and still Markless, but he wasn't. He had Fili. He wasn't quite sure he _wanted_ him, but he still _had_ him. Did it count as cheating if they were not exactly courting, and when Ori had made it so clear that it meant nothing? And it was practice, so that he'd be better at this when Fili would come back, and then maybe things would work, maybe he would stop feeling so terrible whenever they tried, maybe...

“Okay, let's do this then,” Ori sighed. “Been too long since I've done it, or I really wouldn't, though.”

It was a bit of a blur after that, as far as Kili was concerned. A nice blur. Ori's lips were as soft as they looked, but still firm, and they moved in the most wonderful of way against his.

“That was nice,” he mumbled when Ori pulled back. “Really, really nice.”

The blond dwarf sniggered. “That's 'cause I'm an _expert_. And see? No need to be soulmates to enjoy a good snogging. Just have to know what you're doing. Which I do. You'll just have to get your boyfriend to practice a lot, until you two stop being so terrible at it.”

“Was I... so bad, then?”

Ori's smile disappeared, and he gave Kili a strange look. “No. You were rather decent, actually. I expected worse, after what you said, but it was... nice.”

The prince smiled at that. There was still hope, then, and who knew. Maybe next time he'd try to kiss Fili, things would go well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, now that I've got those two chapters out of my system, updates on this should alternate with ones on others things.  
> Also, I love Soulmates AU and Soulmark AU and all these things, but they honestly are a little creepy sometimes so I shall do my best to mess a bit with the concept!:D


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soulmarks still suck, and Fili discover they are rather confusing at times.  
> And everyone likes to make fun of Thorin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This morning I decided I would write on Songs of Erebor.  
> Instead, I did this.  
> No regrets.

While Kili was busy taking kissing lessons from his newest friend (under the perpetual argument of _just this once, to practice_ ), Fili was discovering the world, and enjoying it very much. He had technically been an adult for a few years already, but this trip was the first time he was _treated_ as one.

It had its downsides of course, such as taking active part in the chores, not sleeping enough when he was on watch duty, and the occasional fighting against orcs or worse, bandits. But Thorin had congratulated him on his first kill, a nasty thing of an orc, and that approval had made it all worth it. Dwalin had even joked about getting him a tattoo, and Fili had loved the idea of it until Thorin had reminded them that Dis would probably skin them alive if they did such a thing.

“Don't listen to Dwalin when he talks of his inks,” Thorin added with a scowl. “He was drunk when he got most of them.”

“You're just jealous I get all the lads and ladies everywhere we go. And I wasn't drunk for _most_ of it. Just _some_. And none of _those_ are usually out in public.”

"Hiding secrets then, master Dwalin?" Fili teased. "Now I fear I'll be wondering what those private tattoos of yours look like."

"Ask me when your uncle isn't around, lad" Dwalin suggested with a smirk, "and I might show them to you."

"I heard that!" Thorin growled. "Keep your hands away from my nephew, you old pervert, or I'll cut your stones and feed them to you."

Dwalin laughed at that, quickly joined by Fili. It had been weeks since he'd been able to laugh like that, freely and honestly, and he had missed it greatly. Things were much easier now that his brother wasn't around.

Not that he didn't miss Kili. Often, he would think of something funny or important and turn to tell his brother about it, only to be reminded that were no longer together, that Kili was safe at home and probably exploited by their mother to work in the forge. Maybe he was making him the present he had talked of. For some reason, that idea always made Fili smile, and when he had a free moment, he often tried to guess what his brother would give, and what he could give in return. He had thought of a bow at first, since archery was Kili's favourite art, but he knew too little about it to risk it. A bow too strong or too big to be used would have made a poor present.

Decoration for his hair seemed a better option, but the implication behind it worried him. Such things were meant to be given as presents only by family and lovers, and he wasn't sure which one they were supposed to be. Most of the time he only saw Kili as his little brothers, but sometimes, in the dead of night, he found that he missed the few kisses they had exchanged, messy and awkward as they had been. Fili still wasn't sure how he felt about that whole soulmate business, and most days he hated his Mark for having changed his relation to his brother, but there were times when he thought he might get used to it.

It was easier to think that when they weren't actually face to face, of course. But he could have done a lot worse than Kili. Maybe things would become easier when he'd come back, and they both had had time to think about it.

* * *

 

And Fili had really thought things could end well for them.

Until the other Marks had appeared.

* * *

 

There was one on each wrist, the left one belonging to a family he didn't know (commoners then) and the right one to a lesser branch of Durin's line (to which Dwalin and his cousin Gloin belonged). They looked everything like real Soulmarks, with the same cross and dots as the one on his neck. And Fili's wrists _had_ itched terribly for the last week or so. But they couldn't be real Marks, because you only ever got _one_ , and he already had Kili's.

Fili's first idea, when he woke up and discovered the drawings on his forearms, was to show them to his uncle and ask for his advice, but he quickly decided against it. Thorin was never unkind as such, but he sometimes had an unexpected bad temper when it came to some things, and Marks were one of those. Fili had always suspected that his uncle had lost his One when Erebor had fallen, but he had never dared to ask.

Since he couldn't show the strange Marks to his uncle, Fili realized he couldn't show them to anyone, save their mother once he'd be home again, and that wouldn't be until months, maybe years if business went well enough. They were trying to get new contracts for the forge of Ered Luin, and for that they needed to prove how good they were, so that people all over the world would know where they needed to go if they wanted the best that dwarvish arts could offer.

Which meant that he'd have to figure out what the new Marks meant on his own.

There were rumours, sometimes, of people having a second Mark. In the stories, such people were always men, or soft little shirelings, both kind being short lived creatures that bred like rabbits. It was not so surprising to think of such beings as having hearts so inconstant that they could give themselves to more than one person. But maybe it could happen to dwarves too, and it was happening to Fili. Three Marks seemed a lot, really, but if Fate had decided that he should have three lovers, then he saw no reason to complain about it.

He wondered how Kili would react to the news and, more importantly, if Kili would also have new Marks when he'd come back.

If not, Fili decided that he'd probably give up on these unknown Soulmates. Anyone he could not share with his brother would not be worth having at all.

* * *

 

They were one year into their journey when he finally found a present for Kili, just as Thorin had announced that they would soon be heading back home.

It was a beautiful steel dagger with intricate patterns on the handle. It was light and small, easy to hide, and with one of the sharpest blades that Fili had ever seen. It was a thing a pure beauty, and part of the pattern on it looked a little like their Mark, except there were two crosses mingling instead of a cross and spots. Still, he was sure that Kili would understand why he had chosen it, and he hoped that he would like it.

"We're supposed to sell weapons, not buy them," Dwalin teased him when he came back with the small weapon. "What's that anyway, a letter opener?"

"A dagger for my brother, actually. He doesn't have a great taste for blades, but I thought this one could still be of use to him. Long range weapons are useful, but he'll be glad to have this if an enemy ever comes near him."

"Can I see it?"

Fili nodded, and handed the dagger to the older dwarf. Dwalin inspected it carefully, then gave it back with a smile.

"You chose well, little prince. Your brother will be lucky to have such a weapon."

"I hope he will like it."

"Why shouldn't he? Knowing the lad, he'll probably will be glad just to have you back in one piece, and I think any present from you would make him happy. He reminds me of his uncle Frerin, always happy for the smallest things and smiling at everyone. You're more like your father though."

"Most people compare me to Thorin," Fili admitted. "I think that's the first time anyone has compared me to my dad, to be honest. Well, Ma does, but I think she just misses him terribly."

Dwalin laughed. "You smile far too much to be like Thorin, lad! Even before the Fall he had a difficult temper, and Mahal knows what happened after didn't help. No, you've got yourself a much nicer character than him, princeling, and less pride too. Good for you. I like your uncle, but he can be a bit of an ass sometimes."

"Careful, he might hear you!" Fili warned with a grin. "You know he always hears everything he's not supposed. He's like old Oin, deaf only when it suits him."

"I'll tell him you said that, he's going to love it. He feels old enough now that there's white in his hair, if you compare him to Oin, his vanity will not survive it!"

"And he may not survive it," Fili said in a mock serious tone, a hand on his heart. "Here lies Thorin, prince of Erebor, killed by the sudden realization that he no longer was the most handsome dwarf of Ered Luin. Alas, if we are to believe your cousin Gloin, that title now belongs to his son Gimli, and since he's the plainest little fellow I've ever seen, I fear for the future of our race if that is the best we have to offer."

Dwalin sniggered. "Your uncle can still claim he's the brightest dwarf around."

"A terrifying idea!" Fili replied, gasping loudly in shock and horror, before laughing with Dwalin.

Thorin arrived soon after, as gloomy as ever, and demanded to know the reason of their hilarity. Their only answer was to look at each other and laugh even louder than before.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili and Kili are back together, and things are well again

If anyone had asked Kili how long his brother had been gone, he would have thought very hard, and answered with a cheery “wow, I'm not sure, but it's really been a while!”

 

The exact answer was two years, three month, five days, and he knew it perfectly well.

 

They had never been apart for more than a few days, before that, and the pain of the separation was becoming more than Kili could bear. He ached for his brother, for Fili's smile, his laugh, his terrible jokes, the pranks they'd play together, the way they'd hold each other's hand while running away from Thorin's wrath, laughing like silly little dwarflings. He missed their kisses too, sometimes, as well as their hugs, and all those other little proofs of their closeness.

 

Two years was far too long to be left behind. Two years without any news was torture.

 

No news was good, though, because it meant they weren't dead or badly hurt. That was the only reason you sent messages back home, to warn that something bad had happened to you, or that you'd heard other dwarves had fallen.

 

No news was _good_.

 

Having Fili with him again would have been _better_.

 

* * *

 

 

Dis had sent Kili home early that day, because he'd burnt his hand at the forge. Nothing too serious, but his mother had still decided that he needed to rest. He hadn't protested too hard. He'd been tired for days. Sleep hadn't come easily for a while. No matter how much he repeated himself that everything had to be fine, he'd started worrying. It had been too _long_.

 

So there he was, lying on his bed, trying to rest, trying not to think too much about where his brother was, and what he was doing, when he heard a noise in the house. He instantly reached for a sword. It was too early for Dis to be back, Ori had just received an important order and had warned him he didn't plan on going outside for a few weeks, and he wasn't expecting anyone. Whoever had just come in was _unwanted_.

 

Moving as silently as he could, he walked toward the entrance of their home,his grip tight on the handle of his sword.

 

He almost dropped the weapon when, upon entering the kitchen, he saw his brother, looking for food and chatting with Thorin and Dwalin.

 

Fili was in the kitchen.

 

Fili was _back_.

 

It took all of Kili's self control to not pounce on his brother and kiss him right there and then. Had they been alone he would have done it without a second thought, but he couldn't afford it in front of Dwalin and Thorin.

 

Instead he called out his brother's name, and it was Fili who ran into his arms, almost impaling himself on the sword Kili was holding.

 

"Look at that, you've grown all dangerous, Kee!" he laughed. "But that's one of mine! Are you stealing my things now?"

 

"You weren't exactly using it, _and_ it's not stealing if I intend to give it back. Anyway it's your fault, I thought the three of you were thieves! Why didn't you announce yourselves?"

 

"Because the house was supposed to be empty," Thorin answered behing them. "Why aren't you working at the forge?"

 

Kili raised his burnt hand. "I'm here because I'm a clumsy idiot who shouldn't be trusted with anything hotter than tea, if even that. Mother's words."

 

“You're hurt?” Fili asked, quickly grabbing his hand to inspect it. “I think we have a salve somewhere... does it hurt?”

 

“Not much, don't worry. Most of the pain is for my pride. Mother is right, I _was_ clumsy.”

 

Fili seemed a little less worried, but kept his brother's hand in his. Kili found it oddly pleasing.

 

“Your mother is still in the forge then?” Thorin asked.

 

“Probably. But she should be done pretty soon, you could wait here. I'll make you something if you're hungry? I think we have some cold meat left, and...”

 

“Prepare something hot, and make sure it's ready when we're back,” his uncle interrupted. “I suppose I'd better go see Dis straight away, we have important news for her.”

 

“You'll tell her in the forge?” Dwalin protested. “Thorin, it's full of metal and sharp things, you'll never make it out _alive_!”

 

“Why do you think I'm taking _you_ with me? I'll tell her, and run away while you take the worse of it. I'll make sure to gift your brother with a pretty sword, to honour your valiant sacrifice”

 

Dwalin rolled his eyes and sighed dramatically, then winked at Fili who sniggered, as if they were sharing an old joke. That was new, Kili thought. Neither of the brothers had been particularly close to the warrior before. But of course, after two years away, it was normal that Fili had made new friends. After all, Kili had spent a lot of time with Ori.

 

That made him wince.

 

Better not think about _that_ just yet. It would probably be a _very_ uncomfortable discussion.

 

“Fili, you should come with us,” Thorin decided. “Your mother might be in a slightly better mood if she sees you unharmed.”

 

“I won't help you this time, uncle,” the prince protested. “I'd rather stay with Kili, if you don't mind? It's been a long while, and we have much to talk about.”

 

“If your mother kills me, you'll have my death on your conscience, nephew.”

 

“I'll try to live with it, uncle.”

 

Thorin grunted, but he seemed more amused than anything.

 

 

 

As soon as Thorin and Dwalin had let the door behind them, Fili took again his brother in his arms, hugging him tightly and putting a quick kiss on his lips.

 

“I had missed you, Kee.”

 

“I missed you too. Did you get me a present?”

 

“You're worse than a child!” Fili laughed. “I'm trying to be emotional here, and you're begging for presents! I should not give you anything, really.”

 

“But how can I give you your present if you don't give me mine?” Kili whined. “Come one! And I won't kiss you if you don't give it to me, let me tell you that!”

 

“What did I say? You're just like a child! And I don't have your present here with me, I left it with the ponies. I thought I'd have the time to fetch it before you came back from the forge, to be honest. Do you want me to get it now?”

 

Kili hesitated. “No, it can wait. But I can give you yours now, if you want?”

 

“Seems like _you_ want to,” Fili sniggered. “And I would hate to spoil your fun.”

 

Kili stuck out his tongue at his brother, but he was in too good a mood to let the teasing get to him. So he grabbed Fili's hand, and dragged him to their room, feeling as if they had never been appart at all.

 

“That room is still a mess I see,” Fili noted while Kili started looking for his present. “Doid you ever tidy up while I was gone?”

 

“Course I did,” Kili grumbled, crawling under his bed. “It's just I couldn't find the book Ori had lent me the other day, and I've been too busy at the forge to clean up after that.”

 

“Ori the hobbit lends you his books?”

 

“Don't call him that!” Kili protested, crawling back with a box in his arms. “He's _not_ a hobbit! He's... my friend, I suppose. So don't insult him, or I'll have to punch you.”

 

Fili threw him a strange look then, and seemed about to ask him a question. The younger prince did not want to answer any questions about Ori, not right then, so to distract his brother he quickly handed him the box.

 

“There you go. Hope you'll like it.”

 

He found himself fidgeting with the hem of his tunic. There was no logical reason for Fili to dislike the present, but he was still worried. He had put long hours of work into making that knife, ensuring that the blade was strong and sharp, but still light, and small enough to be easy to hide in a boot or up a sleeve. He'd also carefully decorated the handle, mixing the pattern Fili on all his things, and mixing it discreetly with their Mark. That last touch was the reason for his concern. It had seemed like a good idea at the time, but he wasn't so sure any more, not with the entire reason Fili had left in the first place was _because_ of the damn Mark.

 

“Kee, it's... it's beautiful!” Fili whispered. “You've gotten better while I was gone!”

 

“You like it, then?”

 

“Like it? I _love_ it! It's the most beautiful knife I've ever had, it'd be fit for... for...”

 

“For a prince?” Kili suggested with a smirk.

 

“A _lucky_ prince, then,” his brother said with a laugh. “But really, thank you. I'm afraid my own gift isn't half as pretty as this, sadly. I hope you'll still like it.”

 

Kili laughed at the sheer ridiculousness of the idea that he could not like a present from Fili. It was like saying some day, their uncle might be in a good mood. It was not _technically_ impossible, but it was entirely unlikely.

 

Smiling widely, Fili put the knife back into the box, holding it as if it were a precious thing, and took his brother in his arms for a firm hug.

 

“I missed you so much, Kee. You would have loved it with us. Next time... next time we'll ask uncle to let you come with us.”

 

“That would be great,” Kili answered, thinking that it wasn't because of their uncle he hadn't come that time. But it wasn't a moment for disputes and bad memories. Things had turned out well, and he had Fili back. Nothing else matter.

 

And maybe it was a bad idea to kiss Fili then, but all his lessons with Ori had made him want more. So Kili pulled away just enough to be able to capture his brother's lips, trying hard to remember all the things that had felt so nice with his little copyist, and to reproduce them on Fili. It was, and by far, the nicest kiss they had shared so far, and when they separated Fili was breathless and very red in the face.

 

“You got better at that too,” the blond prince mumbled. “Now I get the whole fuss about... about _this_.”

 

“Is it okay if I kiss you again then?”

 

“More than okay, yeah. Wow. Kee, I think that's the first time we're asking for seconds! Maybe going away for a while was a good idea after all, maybe we just needed time for things to get right?”

 

 _Or maybe I just needed to snog Ori every other day_ , Kili thought guiltily. He dreaded the day when he would have to confess that. The time he had spent with the little scholar had felt so nice and natural at the moment, but he was starting to regret it a little. Fili would probably be hurt when he would learn about it.

 

But that would wait.

 

For now, he just forced a laugh, and kissed his brother again. Later there would be conversations about what they had done while they were alone, about the time Kili had spent with Ori, and about how close Fili and Dwalin had seemed earlier. But for now, nothing existed but the two of them, and they enjoyed this small moment of peace as much as they could.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oooops, I forgot to write on this for a very long while, and I'm very orry about it? It's very bad of me, considering I reaaaaaaaally like this particular AU.  
> And this, kids, is what happens when you've got the memory of a goldfish and a tendecy to be easily distracted.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which, surprisingly, this soulmark business sucks again. Conversations are had, secrets are revealed, and the princes wish there was a lock on their door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two updates in a day? Aren't you lucky!  
> I am, apparently, in a mood for Durincest.  
> Worse things have happened, as far as I'm concerned.

The next few weeks were delightful, as far as Fili was concerned. Travelling was very nice, but there was something to be said for the comforts of home, the certainty of sleeping in a bed every night, the knowledge that you would eat something other that biscuits and dried meat and, of course, having Kili by his side again. Kili who had been fairly offended to learn that he came only after sleep and food, and had tickled him until he apologized for not having better priorities. It had taken him quite a few kisses to be fully forgiven though, but that was a sacrifice he was more than ready to make.

Kissing Kili, which had once been something he dreaded as much as he wanted it, had become... nice. More than nice. Unexpectedly agreeable. In the two years of his absence, Kili seemed to have developed a great skill with his mouth, and the things he did with his tongue had Fili moaning every time. Not that he was complaining about it. He was _so far_ from complaining.

He did wonder sometimes at Kili's reluctance when he teased and asked when he had become so talented, but he decided his brother was allowed a few secrets of his own. After all, _he_ still hadn't say a thing about his two new Soulmarks, and he hoped to hide them for quite a while, possibly until he found these two other dwarves he was linked to, or until Kili got more Marks of his own.

That was the plan.

And it worked for about three weeks, until Kili's curiosity became too much and he asked Fili about the leather bands he wore on his wrists one evening after supper, while they laid together on his bed. Kili had been reading a book, but he'd given up in the middle of it, his curiosity stronger than his interest in the story.

“You don't even take them off to sleep. I hope you remove them to bathe, or they'll stink soon enough.”

“I take them off when I have to, don't worry.”

“But why do you always keep them? It's like... like you're hiding something. Why are you keeping secrets from me?”

“I'm not!”

“Yes, you are.”

“No, I'm not, and even if I were, you're doing it too. Why won't you tell me anything about your sudden and mysterious friendship with Ori the hobbit?”

“I've told you not to call him that!” Kili growled menacingly. “And it's... he's my friend, that's all there is to it. You get to be friends with _Dwalin_ , and you're always spending all your time with him now, why wouldn't I be friend with whoever I want?”

That silenced Fili for a moment. If he hadn't known any better, he would have thought that Kili was jealous of Dwalin, which was utterly ridiculous. He didn't spend that much time with the warrior, even if they had gotten used to training together while they were travelling, and had decided to keep the habit. Certainly, sparring with him for one or two hours every morning didn't count as spending all his time with him, did it? He still had all the rest of the day with Kili, and they worked together in the forge.

Sure, Dwalin often came there to say hello, but that didn't really count. Lots of people came to say hello. Ori had come to say hello, two days earlier, and had asked Kili if he wanted to come and have tea some day. Kili had blushed and hurriedly refused, claiming he had a lot of work to do. Ori hadn't seemed particularly surprised by that answer, as if he had expected that his company would no longer be needed, now that Fili was back.

“I'm not _hiding_ that I'm friend with Dwalin,” the blond prince eventually answered, determined not to lose that argument. “I've told you plenty of things about what we've done together. You haven't said a _thing_ about Ori, except that he lets you read his books and his poems, which doesn't seem all that fun.”

“I'll tell you about Ori if you tell me about your wrists,” Kili replied dryly. “What do you think of that?”

“I think that you must really be hiding something if you're resorting to blackmail.”

“Yeah, and if you weren't hiding something too, you'd just tell me, wouldn't you?”

Fili didn't know what to answer and decided it was wiser to remain silent. Kili seemed to take it as an admission of guilt and he grabbed his book again to resume his reading.

If he had been a wise dwarf, Fili would have dropped the matter and accepted his temporary defeat. But wisdom just couldn't win the fight against his curiosity about his brother's mysterious friendship with that little _rat_ of a dwarf.

“ _Fine_ ,” he sighed angrily. “You _win_. I'll show you but please, try not to... try not to freak out to much, okay?”

Kili nodded quickly and closed his book, staring at his brother's hands as he removed the leather bands.

“You got... tattoo?” the younger prince asked, clearly disappointed. “You made all that mystery for _tattoos_?”

“They're not tattoos, elfbrain, they're Marks. Soulmarks. They appeared about one year after I left.”

“But... why would you get other Marks? I thought... does it mean we're not really...”

“Of course we are! It just means there will be... others. But it's okay, Kee!”

The dark haired prince looked devastated, but when Fili leant toward him to take him in his arms, he pushed him away.

“Of course it's okay for _you_!” Kili thundered. “You'll get to... to have something _normal_ , while I'll have to... to hide us! And don't you dare say it won't change a thing, because I know it's not true! You've been dreaming of a way to escape this since the day my Mark appeared, and now you've _got it_ , and I'll end up left behind! Well, I wish you a lot of happiness with... with your two nice and _normal_ lovers.”

He tried to get off the bed, while Fili did his best to keep him there. It was not an easy fight, but if Fili was shorter, he had the advantage of been far more used to fighting now, and after some struggle he managed to pin his brother to the bed, firmly holding his wrists while he straddled him.

“You're such a fucking idiot,” the blond grunted, bending down to kiss him firmly in spite of his brother's attempts to escape. “If I didn't want to have this with you, then I wouldn't _have it_.” Another kiss, and Kili didn't struggle so much. “I don't care if this isn't normal, you're _mine_ and I'm _yours_ , and it's not about to change, even if I get other lovers.” A third kiss, and Kili shyly responded to that one. “And anyway, these new Marks took a while to appear, didn't they? Maybe you'll get them too. Maybe it'll be four of us together, and we'd find a way to make it public, and it would all be fine, wouldn't it?”

“It... sounds nice,” Kili reluctantly admitted. “But you can't know if it'll really happen like that. What if you're the only one to have these Marks? What if... what if they don't like... the way we are?”

“Then they'd be idiots who don't deserve us. Look, I... it's pretty weird, this whole thing, and yeah, I've freaked out in the past, and maybe I will again. But we're in this together, and you'll always be what matters the most to me, is that clear? I... I love you Kee. And I don't really know if... if I love you as a brother or a lover, but I think it's a bit of both so just... stop worrying so much, and just enjoy the way things are, okay?”

“I love you too,” Kili whispered, looking away. “And I'm sorry for... for getting angry. It's not like you _chose_ to have those Marks.”

Feeling the worst had passed, Fili released his brother's wrists, but otherwise stayed were he was. The position felt strange, and far more intimate than anything they'd done up to that point, but he rather liked it. He moved to kiss his brother again, but Kili put a hand against his mouth to stop him.

“I've kissed Ori,” the younger dwarf mumbled, averting his eyes.

“You've _what_? But... Ori the hobbit? Why? When?”

“He's not a hobbit, and I swear I'll kick you in the stones if you don't stop calling him that! He's... he's nice and funny and clever and he's my friend.”

“And you've kissed him,” Fili hissed. “I can't believe you made such a scene about... about me being friend with Dwalin, and then about my Marks, and you've gone and _kissed Ori_!”

“It's not like that, it didn't mean anything! We were just talking about soulmates, and I... I told him how shitty our kisses were, and...”

“You told him _what_? He _knows_ about us?”

“He doesn't know it's you!” Kili quickly explained. “I didn't tell him that! Look, I swear, he just offered to... to give me lessons, and I thought that it was worth a try, and it was, wasn't it? It's a lot nicer now when we kiss, isn't it?”

“Yeah, because you kissed _Ori the hobbit_! Mahal, couldn't you at least cheat on me with a _real_ dwarf? “

“I didn't cheat on you! I told you, it's not like that, it was just so things would work better between us, I promise! Please, Fee, don't hate me, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you and I know it was a stupid thing to do, please don't hate me!”

Fili took a deep breath, and tried to calm down. Kili _did_ look very sorry, and he _had_ refused to go see Ori when invited to.

“When did it happen?”

“The first time was about six month after you left, I think.”

“ _First time_? So it happened more than once? How often did you snog that little rat?”

“I... I didn't exactly count, you know.”

“So that means it happened a lot, and you lost track of it. Great. And you say _he_ offered it?”

Kili threw him a worried look.

“You're not going to hurt him, Fee, are you? I... it was wrong of me to do that, but he's been a very good friend all that time, and I'd have gone crazy if he hadn't been there to make me laugh and everything. I missed you so much...”

“Yeah, you missed me, and you went and kissed that little rat of a hobbit. I can't believe you'd... but fine. You don't want me to hurt him, so I won't. In exchange, I think I have the right to ask that you don't see him anymore, I feel that's only fair. It's not that I don't trust you, but just the idea of you alone with him, it's...”

“We never did more than kiss, you know!” Kili said, sounding a little offended. “And we were only practising, it... it didn't really count at all. But... but fine, I... I won't see him again. I... I guess I'll go and tell him that tomorrow.”

“I'll tell him,” Fili objected. “I'm serious, I don't want him to get anywhere near you. I trust you, but I don't trust _him_. He's _weird_ , and everyone knows his brothers are even weirder.”

Kili bit his lower lip, clearly angry at the insults against his friend, but he didn't protest this time.

“I'm really so sorry, Fee... I know I shouldn't have, but it just... it was _nice_ , and I missed you, you know?”

“Let's just... forget about it,” Fili grumbled. “I don't even want to _think_ about him right now.”

Kili nodded sadly, and he looked so miserable that his brother felt some of his anger melt away. The blond bent down to kiss him again, as softly as he could. It hurt a little to think that he'd picked his technique from Kili, who'd had it from Ori, but a small part of him had to admit that kissing was a lot nicer now. Maybe he _wouldn't_ break the little rat's hands, to show that he wasn't unaware of how helpful he had been.

But that would wait until the next morning. Right now, there was only him and Kili, and a jealous part of him wanted to have something with his brother that no one else had ever had. They'd never done more than kissing, had never dared to even touch each other in any way that wouldn't have been acceptable in public. They had never even talked of doing more than that, and it had always been perfectly fine. Until then. Fili very much felt like having more, at the moment, and unless Kili was of a different opinion, he was determined to have more.

And while Kili did tense when his brother slipped a hand under his tunic, he didn't move to stop him.

“Is this okay?” the blond asked anyway, to be sure.

“I'm okay if you're okay,” his brother whispered. “But I've never... do you know how...”

“We'll figure it out. It can't be that complicated or elves wouldn't be able to do it, right?”

Kili sniggered, and caught one of his braids to pull him back into a kiss. Fili refrained a smile and started unbuttoning his brother's tunic as fast as he could manage. His shaking hands didn't help, and neither did the fact that Kili's own hands had found a way under his shirt and were distracting him terribly. He was just starting to get the hang of it when the door opened.

The two brothers froze where they were and in the doorway, so did Thorin.

Their uncle was the quickest to recover from his shock.

“What... what in Mahal's name are you two imbeciles _doing_?” he roared, looking at them with horror and no small amount of disgust.

This, Fili thought, was not good _at all_.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin doesn't like what he's seeing.  
> he doesn't like it at all.

Thorin wasn't even supposed to be there. _No one_ was supposed to be there. Dis had gone to visit a sick friend, and Thorin had left two days earlier to negotiate something for his next travel, warning he wouldn't be home for a while.

Fili and Kili were supposed to be _alone_ at home, or they would never have decided to spend the night in the same bed, even when their only intention had been to _sleep_. They were the first ones to admit they weren't the smartest dwarves around, but they weren't _that_ stupid.

Kili was the first one to regain his self-control, and he quickly pushed his brother off the bed.

“It's not what you think, uncle!” he yelped.

“Not what I think? You had your hand in your brother's pants, and...”

“Technically it was under my shirt,” Fili protested. “Uncle, I can imagine this looks bad, but I swear...”

“Bad? You think this looks _bad_?” Thorin growled. “My own two nephews, my _heir_ and his _brother_ , are _fucking_ , and the only word you find to describe this is _bad_? Don't you realize what it would mean if anyone were to know? What if someone else had come in and found you like that, what would you have done? You are princes of Erebor for Mahal's sake, do you have no shame, do you not care what people will say of our family?”

“It's...”

“Silence! If you cannot be trusted to think before you act, then I will treat you as the foolish, _disgraceful_ children you are. As of now, you two are never to be alone together. Fili, you will go and stay with Dwalin until we leave.”

“Leave?” Fili repeated. “Leave for where?”

“Erebor. The time has come. Gloin has just agreed to finance the expedition, and I only need to wait for an answer from the Iron Hills now. I had come to ask both of you to follow me there, to honour you as princes, and here is what I found instead!”

“We weren't doing anything bad,” Kili mumbled, clutching at his half opened tunic. “Who cares what we do behind closed doors?”

Thorin glared at him, and the young prince immediately lowered his head and hunched his shoulders as if to protect himself from an upcoming blow. Their uncle hadn't beaten them often, but he seemed furious enough for it at the moment. Fili almost jumped back on the bed to shield his brother, but he resisted that impulse, fearing it might only anger their uncle even more.

“You are _princes_ ,” Thorin spat. “Others may have a private life, others may be free to do as they wish when there is a door between them and the world, but you _aren't_. Now go and pack your things, Fili, we are leaving. Say goodbye to your brother. If you see him again, it will be in Erebor.”

“What do you mean?” Fili asked.

“He means he's taking you, but not _me_ ,” Kili gasped. “Uncle, _no_! You can't do that to us, I'm begging you!”

“You have no right to make any demands, not after what I've seen tonight. How _could_ you?”

Fili glanced at his brother, who looked as ashamed and panicked as he felt.

And Fili felt terrified indeed. During the past two years he had heard his uncle and Dwalin talk about what a quest to Erebor would be like, and _dangerous_ didn't even begin to cover it. It would be a dreadful travel with Kili by his side, and they would be risking their lives daily because there were orcs and goblins on the road, as well as natural dangers like the mountains or Mirkwood, and then there would be the dragon at the end. It would be hard even with Kili. But without him, he wasn't sure he would manage.

Especially not when it meant that Kili would be left behind with _Ori_ as company.

He could not allow that to happen. He could not be away from his brother again, he could not walk to his death and not have Kili with him.

Which meant there was only one thing he could do.

“We're soulmates,” Fili announced, uncovering his Mark. “You can't separate us, uncle. We've _tried_ , and it didn't work.”

Thorin looked as if he had been struck by thunder. He turned to Kili, a pleading look on his face as if he hoped his youngest nephew would deny it. But the dark haired prince shook his head and showed his own Mark, identical to Fili's.

“That's why I left with you,” the blond explained hurriedly. “I swear we didn't want this, I swear we tried to... not do anything, but it didn't _work_!”

“Are you sure this isn't some sort of mistake? Maybe... no, of course you're sure. Sometimes I wonder what we've done to the Maker to have him _hate_ our family so much. Why couldn't _you_ at least be _normal_?”

Thorin looked old then, older than Fili had ever seen him, and it made his heart clench to know they had hurt him, no matter how unwillingly.

“I'm sorry, uncle. I really am.”

“It's not your fault,” Thorin sighed. “The Maker knows it can't have beeneasy for you two either. I just... I will need some time to... I would appreciate it if you still went to stay with Dwalin for a while. I will _not_ forbid that you see each other, it would be cruel considering... but _this_ , what you were doing tonight, _cannot_ happen again. Not now, not when at last we're given a chance to go home. I cannot afford to take any risks. Until... until Erebor is ours again, you cannot... Until you really are princes at last, I am asking that you remain brothers only. Do you think you could do this? If I took you both with me, would you manage to not...”

He made a vague gesture then, unable to say the words, and the princes winced.

“I think we can, yes,” Kili assured him. “I mean, we can not do it. I mean, we will not be doing that, as long as you think it's necessary that we... don't.”

“We've never _done_ anything,” Fili added. “So it'll be easy to continue to... not do things.”

“And you will stay with Dwalin for now?” Thorin insisted.

“If... If that makes things easier for you, then yes, I will. I'll still get to work at the forge with Kee though, won't I?”

“Yes, yes. I'll tell your mother that your going at Dwalin's to train and prepare with him for the journey, but she would skin me alive if I didn't let you work at the forge. Does... does your mother know?”

Fili shook his head. “No one knows. We thought it was better to keep it secret.”

“Smart of you. Keep it that way, if you can. Now I'll... I'll let you pack your things, and I'll walk you to Dwalin's before it's too late. No need to take too many things, you'll come back later if you need anything.”

He left the room then, closing the door behind him. As soon as they were alone, both brother took a deep breath.

“I think he took it well,” Fili tried to joke, climbing back on the bed to hug Kili.

“I thought he was going to kill us, he looked so furious! And he is separating us. Who's to say he won't change his mind in the end, and take only you with him?”

“I'm not going if you're not. Uncle can't force me and if he tries, I'll tell mother. She will freak out of course, but she'll never let him stand between us if she knows. So don't worry, everything will be fine.”

Kili nodded slowly, clearly not convinced, and Fili gave him a quick kiss. The blond prince wished he didn't have to leave, that he could stay with his brother and reassure him, but that would not be possible. Thorin was probably growing impatient already, and Fili wouldn't be surprised to see him barging him again and demanding to know what was taking so long. So he let go of his brothers, and grabbed enough clothes to last him for a few days, as well as his pipe, some of his knives (among which was the one Kili had gifted him) and a few other things. He stuffed it all in the bag he used for travelling, and after one last kiss, he left the room.

Thorin was waiting for him outside, looking grim and tired. They did not say a thing and left together. They walked in silence for a while, until they were almost at Dwalin's small house.

“Are you sure you can't... not be that way?” Thorin asked then. “Can't you pretend the Mark isn't there and just... take someone else?”

“You know I can't,” Fili answered, instinctively rubbing a thumb against one of his wrists, hoping his uncle would never hear of his other Marks. “And even if I could, I'm not sure I'd want to. It's... I'm his, and none of us can change that. We've tried, uncle. We really _tried_.”

“Of course you did. And I hope you'll try again, for everyone's good.”

Thorin knocked on the door then, and they waited for Dwalin to come and greet them.

The warrior seemed rather surprised to find them on his doorway, and at such a late hour too, but when his king and friend asked him if Fili could stay with him for some time, he readily agreed. He didn't ask any questions, didn't inquire how long the prince would be with him, he just welcomed him, clearly glad of the surprise, and Fili couldn't refrain a smile.

At least, he would be in good company.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, maybe I only read the wrong fics, but every time there's some Kili/Fili in fics I read, all the dwarves are very accepting of the situation and don't give a fuck that they are shagging. Now, I understand that we all like to play with cultural differences, and it would get boring if in every fic there had to be everyone against their relationship, but it feels like such a waste of a great opportunity for drama!D:  
> And I love drama.  
> So when we talked of this AU idea with Alcka, we thought it'd be fun to have Thorin freak out completely at first, even if he would later make an effort because they're his nephews and he loves them and wants to see them happy.  
> Sorry for ranting.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili talks to Ori

 If Dis suspected that anything strange was happening, she didn't say it. Fili had the vague impression that she believed there was something between him and Dwalin, something that Thorin approved, and he thought it would be easier to let her think that. If he denied it, she might start asking questions, and he had no answers to give her.

If he had to be very honest, Fili would have admitted that the current situation wasn't entirely bad. Living with Dwalin was rather fun, it felt like being on a trip again. They joked together and shared stories and trained, and Fili _liked_ it. Being with Dwalin in the mornings and Kili in the afternoons would have been the best thing he could ever have asked for, if only Kili hadn't seemed so miserable and anxious. Fili tried to reassure him every occasion he had, but his little brother still look terrified whenever Thorin was around.

“You're not here, you don't see him,” Kili explained one afternoon. “But he's often working at the forge in the mornings, and he looks at me as if... as if I were personally responsible for it. I think he hates me.”

“He doesn't hate you. If he hated you, he'd just _tell_ you. I think he just... doesn't know how to act around us at the moment. But it'll be fine. We'll be fine. I swear we'll be fine.”

Kili had smiled then, but he still wasn't convinced.

And then, the very next day, when Fili arrived at the forge he found his brother in the middle of a book. That, in itself, wasn't a surprise. Kili had started reading a lot while Fili was gone, partly because he had nothing better to do, but also because it had been a hobby he could share with Ori. Which was why seeing Kili with a new book was worrying at best, and the way he tried to hide it as soon as he noticed his brother approaching was worth any confession.

“He came this morning to give me this!” the younger prince quickly said. “I couldn't refuse, mother was here, she'd have asked questions if I had sent him away, and I didn't have anything to do at the moment so I got bored, and... I didn't even _talk_ to him, I swear, he just gave me the book and I thanked him and he left.”

“Calm down, Kee, I'm not angry.”

Not yet, he mentally added. And not at his brother anyway.

“Give me the book, I'll bring it back to Ori and have a little chat with him.”

“You promised you wouldn't hurt him,” Kili reminded him. “He didn't mean to harm anyone, and even... even now, he's my friend. If you hurt him...”

“I won't hurt him. Not that I don't _want_ to, but I promise you I won't lay a finger on him. Now give me that book.”

Kili reluctantly obeyed.

“Thank you. Tell mother I'll be here soon. I don't think it should take too long.”

* * *

 

Ori had been surprised to see Fili, and even more so to see his book in his hands, but he had politely invited him inside, and offered him tea, which the prince refused.

“You know, I would have hoped that Kili would at least tell me himself when he'd want to get rid of me,” the little scribe sighed. “I mean, I thought I deserved _that_ at least. I guess I was wrong.”

“You don't deserve _anything_ ,” Fili snarled. “People like you don't deserve anything.”

“Why? What have I done now?”

“You've kissed him when you _knew_ he was already seeing someone else, that's what you did.”

The young dwarf frowned then. “Why do you care if I... oh! OH!” Ori took a step away, going pale. “It's _you_? Oh that explains...! Oh, please, _don't kill me_!”

That was not quite the reaction Fili had expected, to be honest, even if the idea of murdering Ori in his sleep _had_ crossed his mind once or twice.

“Why do you think I'll hurt you?”

“Because you're _Kili's soulmate_!” the little scribe hissed. “Look, it's not... I'll never do it again, I should never have done it in the first place, I know but I... I couldn't see that chance and not take it, could I?”

“I'm not his soulmate!” Fili protested, panic rising in him. “Why would you think that!”

“Oh, come on, do you think I'm stupid?" Ori groaned. "There's only _one_ person who'd have a reason to be that angry because I snogged Kili, and that's his soulmate. I always knew one day I'd get beaten by someone for what I did with him, I just didn't expect it to be _you_ doing the beating. And, I... look, I know I'm not in a position to make any demands, but if you could try to avoid my hands, I'd be ever so grateful, because I think I might get a big job soon, and I really need the money. You can hit anywhere else you want and I'll have deserve it, but my hands are my one source of income, I can't afford to lose them, not even for a day.”

That was also unexpected, and Fili felt a little impressed by the calm with which Ori seemed to be handling the situation. Or he would have been impressed if the other dwarf hadn't been kissing his brother and soulmate in his absence.

“Why did you do that if you knew if would earn you a beating?”

"Because I'm an idiot," Ori answered. "And I thought... it's just going to make you even angrier if I tell you, but... Look, I thought I had a chance, that's all. Lots of people are mistaken and think they've found their soulmate, only to later realize they haven't, and I thought maybe it was like that for Kili, maybe he'd made a mistake, maybe I... but then, later, he told me he'd seen his lover's Mark. I suppose I should have ended it then, but I thought since it was going to end bad anyway, I might as well take what I could. Oh, you're going to break my fingers for that one, aren't you?"

Fili shook his head.

He'd come in wanting to break every single bone in the little scribe's body, but after what he'd just heard, and seeing how the younger dwarf was blushing and fidgeting with his scarf, he could only pity him. And how could he not, when it was painfully obvious that Ori was in love with Kili, enough to accept the risk of being beaten or worse? Seducing someone else's soulmate when the two had found each other was a crime, an offense against the Maker.

Fili could probably have killed Ori and gotten away with it. He could certainly have asked for a duel, for reparations, for his exile even.

Instead, he just felt sorry for him.

"How long have you felt like that?" Fili asked.

"Why do you care? Come on, just punch me and be done with it! Dori is gone out to the market, you'll want to be quick, because we'll both be in big trouble if he finds you here while you're... doing what you have to do."

"I'm not going to beat you!" Fili protested. "Kili made me promise."

"Well, you could do it anyway, and not tell him anything. I promise I won't tell him."

"Do you _want_ me to hit you?"

Ori sniggered. "Not really, no. Maybe I'm not a great and properly dwarvish warrior like you, but I still know what it's like to be in a fight, and how it feels to get hurt. But I... If you can take out your anger on me, then maybe, in a few years, you'll allow me to be friend with Kili again. I'll never again ask for more, don't worry."

That took Fili by surprise. The way Ori said it, it seemed obvious to him that he would still be in love with Kili in the future, and the blond prince wondered again for how many years the scribe had loved his brother before they had become friends. There was far too much resignation in his voice for it to have been a recent thing.

"I've told Kili I wouldn't harm you, and I won't," he still insisted. "He'd never forgive me if I ever did anything to you. And... look, Kee and I, we’ll soon be leaving for a long while, and there’s no knowing if we’ll be back, or when. But if we do... if we do, I won’t mind if you... spend time with him. I trust you.”

Ori sniggered again at that. “You came in looking ready to kill me, and now you trust me?”

But Fili did, and he was the first surprised by it. There was something in Ori’s manner that told him that the little scribe wouldn’t ever do anything that might hurt Kili. Dwalin had told him once or twice that he had a good instinct for these things, and that he should follow it. And his instinct told him that this time, he should trust Ori.

“Kili wouldn’t have a bad person for a friend,” the prince said, reluctant to tell the truth. “He’s not stupid, no matter what people think, and if you were a piece shit, he’d have gotten rid of you long ago.”

“Well. Thank you, then. And I... I am sorry for what I did. It wasn’t right, and I know it.”

“Yeah, well. I guess I might have done the same if I’d been you, so... as long as you don’t do it again, it’s... fine. You’re forgiven. Just, don’t... you can’t tell anyone about Kili and me, it’s... well...”

“Oh, I understand, don’t worry. It can’t be easy on you two... but I won’t say a thing, have no fear.”

And Ori smiled then, a real, proper smile that made Fili feel even more sorry for him. It had to be terrible, being in love with someone who could never love you back. He wouldn’t have wished that to anyone.

 

* * *

 

That night, Fili asked Dwalin if he thought that he’d ever heard of someone in love with another’s soulmate, and how long that was likely to last.

“Been in love with someone who wasn’t mine to love,” the warrior admitted. “That was before my Mark appeared, and it took decades to get over him. My brother says I’m still not over it, but he’s an idiot who doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

“That... can’t have been easy.”

“That’s a way of saying it. _Or_ you could say I got plastered and got a tattoo around my Mark to pretend it wasn’t a bloody Mark, and just a pretty drawing. This soulmate business is nice when it _works_ , but when it tells you that you won’t have the one you want, it’s _shit_.”

Fili rubbed the mark on his shoulder. He rather felt like agreeing. Marks, as far as he was concerned, brought more troubles than good things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my alternative title for this fic is "Soulmark Suck".  
> I mean, I love the trope and everything.  
> But you've got to admit it would suck big time for people really living with them.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don't get your hopes up.  
> Ori had learned that long ago.

 Don't get your hopes up.

That had been the first lesson Dori had ever taught him.

They were from a family that didn't have much to hope for. Not when they had all different fathers, and a mother who'd died in childbirth because their little sister had never been meant to live. Not when Dori, who had trained in Erebor to become a dancer, had been forced in exile to take whatever job he could find. Not when that had never been enough, and Nori had been forced to start stealing so that they could pay for Ori's apprenticeship fee.

Don't get your hopes up.

Ori had been good at following that advice. He'd never expected much from life. A hot meal and a dry place to live were all he really asked for. Having books and interesting work were just an added bonus, and one he often repeated himself might not last forever. Nothing lasted, in his experience, not for him.

When he had realized that he was in love with prince Kili, he'd been forty five, and in this like in everything else, he had forced himself to not hope for anything. Kili didn't look like much, but he had such energy and happiness to him that people couldn't help being drawn to him. At least, that was how it felt for Ori. Of course he didn't get to see the prince too often. It was just as well. If they had been able to be friends he might have hoped, and hope was bad.

* * *

Ori noticed, of course, when one day Kili and Fili got into an argument of some sort, and stopped spending time together.

He noticed when they tried to make it better, and failed.

He noticed when Fili left with his uncle, and left Kili behind.

He noticed and said nothing.

Until the moment Kili seemed to decide that, of all the dwarves of the neighbourhood, Ori was the one who'd provide the best company. He noticed that, and made the very foolish decision of allowing the prince close to him. He knew he'd get hurt in the end, but how could he have resisted when Kili looked so miserable without his brother?

* * *

He'd never planned to kiss Kili. Ever.

And he knew it was wrong of him, when Kili had a lover.

He didn't care.

For a few precious seconds, he could close his eyes, pretend that the prince didn't belong to another, that his own mark didn't claim that he was fated to love another.

For a few seconds he had Kili's lips and his, and nothing in the world felt more right.

* * *

It all changed when Fili came back from his travels. Suddenly Kili was avoiding Ori, always finding excuses not to see him, confirming that the scribe had been nothing but a replacement for his brother.

Ori should have been clever enough to accept it and to give up on that ghost of a friendship. He should have. He didn't.

Which was how he had ended up with Fili coming to visit him one day, looking ready to murder him.

And that was when He'd understood why Kili always looked so miserable when he talked about his Soulmate. It was a relief, to be honest. For the longest time, Ori had feared that his prince's One was a bad dwarf, one who hurt him maybe. He was glad to know that Kili's sadness had only come from the... _delicacy_ of their situation, and that his Soulmate was someone who would _never_ let any harm come to him.

It had been a surprise that no harm had come to _Ori_ , though. Fili seemed to pity him. He'd have felt offended by it, really, if it hadn't saved him from the prince's wrath.

Because being small and skinny and barely better than a _hobbit_ had its good sides, in the end.

* * *

What was less good was the set of two marks that appeared on his wrists, barely a week later. There was a cross with four dots, just like the one on his shoulder, but the family crest on them were those of the royal line of Durin this time.

For a split second, Ori hoped. Maybe, just maybe, there was a chance after all. These things happened, he'd heard, there were rumours, legends of people with more than one soulmate, and maybe he was lucky, maybe...

_Don't get your hope up._

He'd made that mistake once already, and as a result, he'd had nothing but trouble. Hope was bad, he reminded himself, and these marks might not have been what he thought.

That very day, he went to see Oin, the local healer. He didn't have the money for things like that, but he managed to convince the old dwarf to have a look at his wrist by telling him he'd see something rather unusual.

"That's not so unusual," the healer had grumbled after seeing the dark drawings on his skin. "Ghost Marks. Happens. Aren't they the same as the one on your shoulder?"

"Not quite. The first one isn't for Durin's royal line, though it's close to them and the crest is almost the same."

"Ghost Marks," Oin insisted. "Doesn't mean a thing. You're just a bit of a freak, lad. Happens."

Ori tried to not feel too disappointed. He should have known, of course.

"I've... heard of people having more than one... soulmate," he insisted anyway. "Couldn't this..."

"Happens in hobbits and men, yes! Not in dwarves, we're above such perversions, thank the Maker. Isn't one lover enough for you, lad?"

"One is already too much, master Oin," he joked weakly. "I suppose I'm glad I won't have to deal with more."

He'd thanked Oin again then, and he had gone back home.

That was his last hope dying.

Things would be easier now.

* * *

Things did not get easier, though they certainly got very... interesting.

Once or twice in the past year, the lady Dis had told Ori that her brother would probably have a job for Ori when he'd be back from his travels. The young scribe had supposed that meant the copying of a book, or maybe to put down the story of their exiles.

That would have been a reasonable request.

Coming with Dwalin and suggesting Ori followed him across half of Middle-Earth to write the tale of a suicide mission _wasn't_ reasonable.

"Why me?" he asked.

"I am told you are one of the best scribes in these parts."

Lies. There were many other better scribes all over Ered Luin. The proof of that was that _they_ had work and _he_ didn't. Which meant Thorin knew he probable was the only one desperate enough to go with him, having nothing to lose.

"I do well enough," he answered anyway, because a job was a job, and any job that could help him Dori's smothering was by definition a _good_ job. "What's the pay?"

"A share in the gold of Erebor, equally divided between all those coming."

"Oh. That's a good pay," Ori noted.

More than good. Ori would never again have to work, he could pay to clean Nori's reputation and have him go honest again. He could do _anything_ with that much gold.

If he survived. There was a dragon at the end of the road, of course. But that made it a win-win situation, in a way. Either he survived and become very rich, or he died and never had to worry again about his freak Marks, or about Kili.

"Can you really earn that pay, though?" Thorin asked. "This will be a dangerous travel, and I have no use of a scribe who might run at the first sight of danger, or get himself killed in the first skirmish. Can you fight?"

Don't get your hopes up, Ori admonished himself. He should have seen that coming, of course. They needed someone who was a real dwarf as well as a scribe, not... not someone like him. Oh, well. It had been nice to dream for a moment.

"I've got a slingshot, and I'm fairly good with it," he answered anyway. "That's about it, though."

As he had expected, Thorin frowned at the news, and he seemed about to call the deal off when Dwalin stepped forward.

"There's still some time before we leave," he claimed. "And if you've got have your brothers' brains and brawns, that should be enough."

Ori couldn't have said who was more surprised by that declaration, him or Thorin. It wasn't even as if there was any friendship to justify the warrior's help. They'd never talked before that day. Dori was in good terms with Dwalin's elder brother, but Ori had never really talked to either him or Balin.

"He'd need a master," Thorin noted. "I don't have time to find him one, and he'd never have the money for it."

"I'll train him myself," Dwalin countered. "It'll do me good, we need a scribe, and Dis _recommended_ him. Dis, Thorin. Your sister complimented the lad. What _more_ do you want?"

Thorin grunted something about what he thought of his sister's opinion, but the argument still got to him.

"I give you one week," Thorin decided. "If by then you still think he can become good enough to not need protection on the quest, he may come."

"Then we'll have to get to work. You know where I leave, lad. Come and meet me there tomorrow afternoon, and I'll make a dwarf out of you."

The way he smiled then worried Ori.

Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am I happy with this chapter? NO! :D  
> Am I fighting an enormous block on my chaptered fics? YES! :D  
> Is there any chance that the next update won't take as long to come? I WISH I KNEW! D:


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ori trains, and is confronted by Dori

Ori had rather expected Dwalin to be awfully hard on him, to make him train until he'd faint from sheer exhaustion. Listening to Kili when he talked about his own training sessions had given him the impression that it was how things were meant to happen. Then again, Kili _did_ tend to be a little dramatic sometimes, and he liked to whine a little.

But Dwalin was terribly nice to him, trying to figure out what he knew (not much) and what he'd already tried (even less).

“How did you reach your age without ever holding a hammer or an axe?”

“Dori.”

“Your brother was almost of age when the Worm came,” Dwalin protested. “He should know how important it is for a dwarf to know how to fight. He probably meant to protect you, but he did you no service, lad.”

Ori nodded, feeling it was expected of him. He'd never really felt that he missed anything by not knowing how to fight. The people in his life who'd beaten him up would have done so even if he'd been able to defend himself, or might even have hit harder.

“Try to lift that hammer,” Dwalin told him, holding out one of the smallest weapons the training grounds had to to offer. “Let's start easy, and move on to bigger things until we find what works for you.”

The young dwarf almost felt offended that he'd be thought so weak. He might not have been a warrior, but he wasn't a child. He grabbed the hammer with one hand and raised it high, glaring at Dwalin who laughed.

“Hurt your pride, did I? _Good_! Let's try for a bigger one now.”

Slowly, hammer after hammer, they left the realm of children's training weapon to reach real ones, the sort that might be used in war. Dwalin seemed impressed that he could lift some of the bigger ones, though in the end he made him use one of medium size.

“That'll do for a start,” the warrior explained. “Too light and it wouldn't do any good, too heavy and you won't be able to work on getting the movements right.”

“You mean there's more to it than just... smashing things until they die?”

Dwalin laughed again. He seemed to do that a lot, which surprised Ori. From what little he'd seen of him, he had always expected the older dwarf to be grim and broody, like Thorin.

“There's an art to smashing things, lad, a way of doing things, or the trolls would be the greatest warriors in the world. Now come here, lad. Let's start by making you hold it the right way."

* * *

It wasn't so bad, in the end. Training was even fun, if Ori had to be very honest. More complicated than he'd have thought, and more subtle too (there was more to hammers than 'smash things', just as swords needed more than 'put the pointy end into other person' and a lot more to axes than 'slash things') but he was enjoying himself terribly.

And Dwalin _seemed_ happy with his progress. The week was almost finished, and Ori was rather sure that the warrior would tell Thorin that he'd be good enough for their hopeless quest.

He should have known things couldn't go that well.

Dori discovered it all.

And he did not take it well. Not at all.

And he cornered Ori about it on the last morning of that first week of training.

"This is the most stupid idea you've ever had!" Dori claimed. "Even Nori wouldn't have done something that idiotic. Agreeing to go with Thorin to Erebor! What were you _thinking_?"

"It's not a done thing," Ori softly protested. "I still have to prove myself, and Thorin isn't too sure about taking someone who isn't trained, and..."

"Not a sure thing? I talked with the lady Dis last night, and it seemed set in stone to her! She was so cheerful about it too, saying she'd recommended you, and how Dwalin was so impressed at how good you were with weapons when given a choice... you! With weapons! What if you hurt your _hands_ , Ori?"

"We're careful, Do. Mister Dwalin knows that we can't have my hands hurt, or I won't be able to come at all."

Dori glared at him. "You're not going anyway. I forbid it. It's too dangerous, and I won't have my youngest brother _die_ for Thorin's foolish dream. I didn't raise you this long to let you throw away your life like this, my boy!"

That had Ori fidgetting with the edge of his scarf. He didn't like it when Dori used the "I raised you card", even if it _was_ a valid argument. Maybe. Nori often told him that it gave Dori no right over him, but then again, Nori wasn't too keen on family to begin with.

"I really want to go, Do. Please? Think... think of the money! We'd be _rich_! You'd be able to do whatever you want, and I'd never have to write anyone letter's to their third cousins ever again for a few coins, and Nori'd be able to go honest!"

"Nori doesn't do _it_ for the money, and you'll be dead before seeing Erebor's gold, Ori. Are you really so unhappy here? It's not _perfect_ , but we have a nice life, especially now that you've begun working. Why would you want to leave?"

Ori pinched his lips. _Kili_ was a good reason to leave, for one thing. The young scribe felt absolutely sure that Thorin would _never_ take the risk of bringing his nephews with him (someone had to stay behind, make sure the line remained, right?) and that even if the king had wanted to, the Lady Dis would never have allowed her sons to take such risks. She was rather like Dori sometimes, only a little less smothering.

Going to fight a dragon to run away from his unrequited love might have seemed a little dramatic, but he'd have lied if he had said it played no role in his decision.

"I want to do _something_ ," Ori answered instead. "Something that _matters_. Please, don't make me stay, please. I'm an adult, it's my choice, I've got the right to go if I want, please to force me to stay?"

"Does it really matter so much to you?" Dori asked, sounding heatbroken. "I... Mahal, I'd never have thought you'd turn out like Nori, needing to _go away_ like that..."

"I'm really sorry, Dori."

"Not as much as I am," his brother sighed. "But fine, I... you can go. Not that you need my permission. You're an adult, as you've said. But I think I'll... try to see if I can come too, maybe. I don't like it much, but I _was_ a fighter, and I'm sure I could make myself useful. I doubt Thorin will have too many volunteers to follow him."

Ori forced a smile, much as the idea displeased him. He _hoped_ that Thorin would refuse, because the last thing he'd need was a nanny, but in this like in everything, he felt sure that his hopes would be disappointed. Dori was a _strong_ dwarf, everyone knew it. Rumour had it he'd beaten mister Dwalin in a fight once, when they were young.

Rumour never said how the fight had started, but Ori felt it was a safe bet to think it had been because of Nori. It was _always_ because of Nori.

"That'd be nice," he eventually said. "Family trip. Great. I. I'll go now. Best get a bit of extra training, show I'm really working on it. I'll. See you tonight?"

And before his brother could react in any way, he ran from the house.

It was far too early to actually go to Dwalin, but even just running around in town felt better than staying in with his brother.

After all, Dori might still change his mind about letting him go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> because I wouldn't be me if i didn't write a chapter about Ori being surprisingly badass and about Dori being a mother-hen  
> I just like Ori  
> A lot.  
> That's why he's the one I'm torturing the most.  
> Also, sorry that the chapters are getting shorter and shorter? With any luck, the next one should be longer, since I expect them to have left Ered Luin by then.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ori has a couple bad surprises, and make a decision or two.  
> Also, there is beer.

For all that he was trying hard to never get too much hope about anything, Ori couldn't help but find that what little expectancies he allowed himself were always mercilessly crushed by life.

Dori was allowed to come, of course.

And Nori arrived one evening, announcing that he would follow Thorin too.

How that had happened, Ori decided he did not want to know.

Anyone else would probably have been glad to have their family with them on such a perilous journey. Ori just felt annoyed that Dori wouldn't let him get a life of his own, and that Nori was probably using him as an excuse to get away from whatever trouble he'd found himself in this time. He just hoped that the rest of their group would be of better company. At least, there would be Dwalin, and that was something he was glad for. Training with him was still strangely fun, and Ori felt that they got along rather well. Then again, he'd had the same feeling with Kili not so long ago, and considering how well that had turned out, maybe he'd better not trust his impression on that.

It wasn't long after Nori's announcement that he was joining the quest that they left. Thorin had gone before them, along with Dwalin, much to Ori's chagrin. His hours of training, which he had so dreaded at first, had become a thing he eagerly waited for.

“You'll see me again soon enough, lad,” Dwalin told him during their last session. “And we'll have plenty of time to continue while we travel. I still have a lot to teach you.”

“And I'll do my best to learn it all, then!”

“I expect no less than the best from you, lad, or I wouldn't bother with you.”

* * *

 

The Shire was a nice enough place, and the dwarves with whom they travelled there were a decent bunch. One of them, Bofur, was an old friend of Nori, and of course Ori knew Gloin, who was Gimli's father, and for whom he'd worked sometimes. He also knew Gimli's uncle Oin, who was a rather queer fellow at times, but less queer than Bifur, from whom the scribe decided to stay away. He didn't look dangerous, and he even seemed rather nice, but Ori had enough to do dealing with his own weirdness as it was.

That part of the trip was fairly agreeable, and Ori hoped the rest would remain so. Once in the Shire, they were joined by a man, a wizard who called himself Gandalf. Ori wondered if he was the Gandalf, the one they called Tharkûn. Probably not. He looked far too mundane to be such a great and powerful wizard.

He took them to a place called hobbiton, where they would meet the fourteenth member of their company, he told them. 

_That_ was when Ori's bad luck made another spectacular return, and he knew the travel to Erebor would be a long, difficult, painful one.

 

* * *

 

The princes were coming too.

 

* * *

 

Ori's first reaction was a surge of anger. At the universe for doing this to him. At Thorin for putting his nephews and heirs in such danger. At Fili and Kili for being stupid enough to come. At himself for not having realized that _of course_ they would come.

And it was too late to go back home, of course, because if he changed his mind, he'd have to face Thorin's disdain and the look on his face as he'd think that of course the young scribe wasn't fit for such a journey, he'd be disappointing Dwalin who had been so nice to him, and more importantly he'd have to explain to his brother why he wasn't coming in the end, because they would know if he lied. They wouldn't take too kindly the fact that he'd flirted with someone who already had his One, and his feelings for Kili would be no mitigating circumstances.

He'd have to endure in silence, then.

At least, their host seemed to have a great quantity of beer at hand. That should help him survive that first night, if nothing else.

He did his best to ignore Kili while he helped lay the table, concentrating at the task at hand, even though the young prince tried to talk to him once or twice. When he sat down at last, only to have Kili rush to his side, Ori knew he wouldn't be able to avoid a conversation.

“What are you doing here?” the prince asked, sounding worried.

“I'm getting drunk,” he announced, raising his already half empty mug. “The plan is that by the end of diner, I must be so pissed that I can't remember my own name.”

Or yours, he didn't add.

“That's not what I meant!” Kili pouted. “Why are you _here_?”

“I'm hoping to get paid for it. Kee, I don't think you should be sitting with me. Last time I saw him, your brother had a rather strong opinion about my right to be near you. Or more exactly, the non existence of such a right. I wouldn't want him to get ideas.”

“No, no, that's fine. He said he trusted us,” Kili explained, glancing at his brother who was laughing with Dwalin.

Ori felt vaguely offended that Fili wouldn't consider as competition at all. Even if it _was_ true that he didn't have a chance. A little jealousy would have made him feel better, really.

“He said he's thought about it,” Kili continued, “and even if... he's still a bit angry about what happened, we can still be friends if we want, that's what he said. And I don't know 'bout you, but I want you, because it was nice before, even without the... _you know_ , and it'd be stupid to not talk just because we've made a mistake or two. I've missed you a lot, you know.”

Now Ori definitively felt offended. Fili was either stupidly kind, or cunningly clever. In the first case, he thought he was doing them a favour by allowing the return of their friendship, even though he clearly had guessed that the scribe's affection for his brother was deeper than it ought to be. In the second case, he felt certain that Ori would refuse Kili's offer because it would cause him too much pain to be so near the dwarf he loved and never be able to have anything from him.

Refusing was, of course, the smart thing to do. He'd gotten in trouble last time he had allowed himself to be close to Kili, only narrowly avoiding Fili's wrath, and he might never be so lucky again if he gave in to temptation another time. And he had proved how bad he was at resisting. If he was smart, he'd reject Kili.

He'd never been all that clever, really.

“It'd be nice, yeah.”

Kili's smile then was so bright as to be blinding. Ori knew he'd just made a terrible mistake, but he felt he'd never regret it. Not as long as there was beer, anyway.

It took them but a few minutes to be laughing and chatting as if nothing bad had ever happened between them, Ori imitating some of their companions, the two of them burping as loudly as they could and stuffing themselves. It was nice, and casual, and maybe he had worried too much about this. It felt as if nothing bad could ever happen again.

Until he made a particularly good impersonation of Dwalin and Kili, half chocking with laughter, put a hand around his shoulders to pull him closer and kissed him drunkenly above the ear, claiming he was the funniest dwarf alive.

Ori immediately sobered up, and quickly looked around, searching for Fili, who thankfully had left the table. No one else seemed to have noticed anything, but the young scribe decided that the risk was too great. He needed some time alone, until at least some of the alcohol had gone from their blood. He grabbed his plate and stood up, mumbling something about needing to clean up. Kili seemed surprised and tried to stop him, but Ori escaped and found himself in the main corridor, in front of a very disgruntled hobbit.

“Excuse me,” he said as politely as he could, “but what should I do with my plate?”

Before their host would answer, Fili arrived behind them, took the plate from his hands, and threw it at Kili, while Bofur improvised a song. Somehow, it made Ori a good deal less nervous; they were all far too drunk to care that Kili had kissed him, supposing they had even been in any state to notice it.

Still, when then all went back to the table after Thorin's arrival, Ori made sure to sit with his bothers this time. The mood had changed, but better not tempt fate. And when, later yet, the discussions were over and they all left the dining-room, he avoided Kili once again by sitting with Dwalin to catch up with him.

“Got a problem with the princes, lad?” the warrior joked. “Couldn't help but notice the three of you playing hide and seek all night. Thought you were friend with them?”

“Whoever told you that was very mistaken.”

“I don't think her Ladyship Dis would be mistaken 'bout her sons, though. She rather likes you for it, too. I think that's why she insisted Thorin took you along. Well, you're a good scribe too, and you wouldn't be here if you had no talent, but I think she wanted them to have a companion during the trip. Her sons don't have many friends, they're a bit... exclusive.”

That was one way of putting it, Ori thought.

“I don't know if we're friends,” he replied instead. “Fili certainly doesn't like me at all, that's for sure. Not to the point where it could be a problem though!” he quickly added, noticing Thorin just a few feet away.

“If he didn't like you, he wouldn't let you anywhere near his brother,” Dwalin claimed, “and I've heard him encourage Kili to sit with you while we ate. Seemed glad to see the two of you laugh so much, too. There's been some tensions with their uncle lately. Been a while since I last saw Kili in such a good mood.”

“And that's probably due to the beer more than to me. I'm not much fun to be around.”

Dwalin scowled at him.

“Now lad, I can't let you say that, it's not fair on you nor on him. Kili's not the sort to pretend to have fun when he's bored, and he wouldn't lose his time with you if he didn't like you!”

Ori smiled weakly, but didn't reply. Between Kili's earlier kiss and Dwalin's words, he was starting to wonder if he shouldn't leave after all. He had thought that he had accepted that the prince would never love him back, but hope didn't die that easily, it seemed, and it was a pain he'd have to carry a while longer.

Soon, he was distracted from his dark thoughts when some of the older dwarves, including Dwalin, started singing about that lost mountain he had never known, about a home he'd never had, and their old desire to get back to it.

All thoughts of running back to the Blue Mountains left him then, taken as he was by that song.

It was going to be a hard, long few months, but it would be worth it in the end if they could reclaim their kingdom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the "lonely mountain" song was apparently the dwarves' attempt at seducing Bilbo into following them, or so I've read (SOMEONE ON THE INTERNET SAID IT SO IT'S TRUE) and I thought it might work on Ori too, considering all his doubts.
> 
> If I have my way, next chapter should be from Dwalin's pov, but as we all know, I rarely get my way with stories.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dwalin teaches a few things about Marks to Bilbo, and learn something along the way.

“So, mister Dwalin, what do you think of this fine company of ours?” Fili asked as they started riding on their fourth day of travel after the party. “What are the odds of us all surviving until the end of the journey?”

“Don't joke about that!” the warrior warned him. “The risk is real, and you should know it.”

“And my question is a serious one,” the prince assured him with that delicious little grin of his. “In my eyes, there's a few of us who should never have left home, but seeing as you're a dwarf of experience, you might be able to explain to me why they were allowed to come?”

Dwalin smirked. It was a rather diplomatic way of saying ' _I think my uncle is nuts for taking these idiots, do you agree with me or is there any semblance of reason behind his mad decisions?_ ' The lad had a way with words.

“Which one of our companions do you doubt?”

“Doubt is such a nasty word! I merely worry for them! And I worry most of all for Bombur, Bifur, Dori, Ori, and our hobbit of course.”

“Then put your heart at peace, my prince. They will be fine. Bombur's got as much muscle as fat, it not more. Bifur's a bit weird and I know he only eats plants, but his spear isn't here for decoration, trust me on that. As for Dori... he might look like a fussy old thing, but he's as terrifying as your mother in a fight.

Fili let out an impressed whistle. “I'd never have thought.”

“He hides it well. And Ori's just as strong as his brother, or he'll be once he gets some experience. I didn't have much time to train him, but he's very promising, and with some time he'll become as terrific as you, I'm sure.”

Fili tensed at that, and fought to keep his smile on.

The first time Ori had told Dwalin that Fili hated him, the older dwarf had thought that his young friend was acting a little dramatic. The scribe was a nice lad, easy to get along with once you got past his shy manners, but he did tend to expect the worst from life. Dwalin had tried, several time, to convince him that Fili had no hatred from him.

But after a couple days of travelling, he was starting to wonder if Ori wasn't right this time.

Fili did seem to have a problem with Ori, though he did his bed to hide it and act friendly, for Kili's sake.

But then again, when did the blond prince do anything that wasn't for his brother's sake?

They were close, these two. Closer probably than brother ought to have been. And while Dwalin sometimes _hoped_ that they were no more than very close brothers, that Fili had no engagements, if there was more than kin's bonds between them, then he only wished they'd find a way to be happy as they were.

“You can't tell me the hobbit is made for this, though,” Fili claimed to change the subject. “He's all small and soft and delicate! Why did uncle take _him_ with us?”

Dwalin thought about it for a moment.

“He's got a nice ass?”

Fili chortled.

“D'you think that's his type, then?”

“Cute and small and looking at him like he's the best thing since mithril? How could he _not_ be his type?”

“Not so loud, they'll hear you!”

“Let them hear, I'm not afraid of Thorin.”

“And of the hobbit?”

“Maybe a little of the hobbit,” Dwalin sniggered with a fake shiver. “Imagine what hidden strength might lie in his little iron fists!”

 

* * *

 

For all that he laughed about him, Dwalin rather liked their hobbit. He'd always had a certain fondness for small people with more courage than sense, and Bilbo was fairly decent most of the time. Clever, too, though entirely ignorant of the ways of dwarves. But eager to learn more about that, and always asking questions to understand them better, which Dwalin appreciated. He'd travelled with men, sometimes for months, and they'd never once asked if their was any meaning behind their tattoos or the way they braided their hair. Some of the questions he asked were disrespectful, but he always apologized after, and never asked again if a topic (such as Khuzdul) was stated as not being a stranger's business.

Most of the time, Ori was the one to answer his questions, with the occasional help of Dwalin. The young scribe seemed delighted to share his knowledge and have someone listening to him. He even forgot to be shy in such moments, which Dwalin thought a good thing. He had decided that Ori wasn't hobbitish (as he knew some dwarves said) as much as shy and smothered by his brothers, and it pleased him to see the lad so relaxed when he was with him and the hobbit.

At least, he usually was relaxed. He did tense greatly when one evening, Bilbo asked them if dwarves too had Marks.

“Of course we do!” Dwalin laughed. “Bloody orcs have them, why shouldn't we? Don't hobbits have them?”

“Oh, I think most do. I don't, though, hence my question. I only know about them through hearsay, as it were. Never seen one myself. Well, a drawing, once, but that doesn't really count, does it?”

“Not really, the warrior admitted. “No Mark, eh? Poor lad. Can't be easy to live with. Not that Marks are all mithril and diamonds, of course. There's folks not too happy with theirs, and you always have those who don't pay it any mind and who'd rather live their life alone.”

Bilbo frowned. “I thought the point of Soulmarks was that you couldn't be happy without the other?”

Dwalin couldn't refrain a laugh. “That's be sad, lad! I've never met my One, and I'm perfectly happy like that! Not that it wouldn't be nice to meet them, but I can exist on my own, fear not.”

Bilbo nodded, looking deep in thought, then turned to Ori.

“And you, have you met your One? Or are you too young to have a Mark yet?”

“I've got one,” Ori mumbled, clutching tightly at his shoulder. “And I haven't met them. Not sure I want to. I've got enough problems like that.”

Bilbo threw him a surprised glance, and Dwalin looked at the lad in concern. He had a suspicions or two about Ori's love life, just like he had about the princes. If things were as he thought, the boy already had plenty of problems indeed.

“What do you mean by that?” the hobbit asked.

Ori just shrugged, and seemed to shrink in his cardigan, as if he regretted having said anything and was trying to disappear. Dwalin had mercy on him, and came to his rescue.

“It's not always easy,” he explained. “I remember when I was just a lad, my Mark came out and it was bad news. I was madly in love with this dwarf see, handsome poet, jut a bit older than me, and I felt sure I'd bear his Mark. Turned out, I didn't.”

“How could you know that? Had you seen his?”

“Nah, Marks are private. You don't show them around.”

“Then how...”

Dwalin rolled his eyes. How could anyone be so ignorant about that topic was beyond him. All races had Marks, and all adolescents were taught these things when they came of age. Then again, if Bilbo didn't have a Mark, the occasion for him to get The Talk had never risen. Dwalin sighed, and pulled on his clothes to reveal his own Mark to the hobbit. He heard Ori gasp at his gesture, but paid it no mind. It was bad manners, but someone had to educate their burglar, hadn't he?

“I didn't think they were this big!” Bilbo exclaimed.

“Most of it is a tattoo,” Dwalin explained, tracing the added ink with his thumb, before tapping it on the actual Mark. “That's the real deal. This part, here, the cross with four dots, that's what I share with my One. And right above, that's their family's crest. Mahal's gift to help us find our One. It's said other races don't have that second part. But we do, and mine wasn't the right one for my poet. Broke my heart at the time, and I tried to disguise it as a tattoo,” he admitted. “Got over it in time, though.”

“That's a fairly clever system,” Bilbo claimed while Dwalin covered the Mark again. “Oh, and sad too, considering what happened to you. It can't be nice, when you fall for someone and you already know they'll never be the one for you.”

Dwalin nodded grimly, just as Ori spat “It's the very worst thing in the world.”

The other two turned his way. He had been strangely quiet ever since they had started talking of Marks, but now he was almost entirely buried in his scarf and cardigan, while what little they could see of him was pale and shaking.

“Are you well, master Ori?”

“Not at all, master Baggins,” the dwarf whispered. “I've got to go. I'll talk to you later.”

Without any further explanation, he rushed back to his brothers.

Dwalin felt a little worried for his young little friend, but not to the point of going to ask what was going on. He could guess what the matter was, and suspected that Ori only needed some time alone. He remembered how he'd been after his Mark had condemned him to never have the one he loved, and how even hearing of other people's happiness had hurt at time.

Some time alone would do the lad good.

* * *

 

In the end, Ori ignored him for a full three days, avoiding both Dwalin and Bilbo and never leaving his brother's side. That alone was enough to worry the warrior. He knew that his young little friend had been nothing but upset at the idea that his brothers had joined the quest, and so far he had used every possible excuse to get away from them. If their company had suddenly become better than his, then something strange was going on.

On the evening of the fourth day, at last, Ori approached him after they had finished eating and requested to talk to him. There was an air of determination on his face that Dwalin wasn't sure he entirely liked, but he saw no reason to refuse, so he excused himself to Fili, with whom he'd been talking, and he followed Ori a little way away from their camp.

When they were far away enough to be overheard (as long as they didn't shout), Ori stopped and turned toward Dwalin, his hands clenched in tight fists, staring at his own feet

“I do not love you,” he announced without any sort of preamble, “and I know you don't love me either.”

“Now, lad, I thought we got along fine, and...”

“Oh, I _like_ you,” Ori assured him, looking up. “You've been nothing but a _wonderful_ friend since the first day, and I'll never thank you enough for all you've done for me. But I do not love you, and I don't think I ever will.”

Dwalin frowned. He'd received a few love declarations in his life, but this was the first time some declared their non-love for him.

“Lad, is it something your brothers said, or...”

Ori shook his head and, biting his lips, clutched at his shoulder, as he often did when he was nervous. Then, without warning, he removed first his scarf and then his cardigan, and with shaking hands started working on the first button of his tunic.

“Lad, I don't think this is a good idea!” Dwalin warned him, wondering if Dori could see them from where he was.

He hoped not.

A she-bear would have been less protective than Dori could be.

“It's not what you think,” Ori mumbled. “It's just, you've got to see a thing.”

And without further explanation, he uncovered his Mark. Dwalin immediately averted his eyes, the intimacy of such an act almost worse than if the scribe had undressed in front of him. But curiosity soon won him over, and he looked.

And gasped.

Ori bore his Mark.

There was no mistake possible. Even if they had not been so close, Dwalin would have recognised it. Even in the darkest pit of Mordor he would have recognised it, the way any intelligent being always did when they saw the Mark that linked them to another being.

“I saw yours when you showed it to mister Baggins the other day,” Ori explained miserably. “And I was so angry, because I like you, but I don't want to like you that way, but then I thought you deserved to know, because it means you'll never have a One, because even if I have your Mark, I love someone else.”

Dwalin nodded distractedly and took a step closer. He saw now that there were small scars all over Ori's Mark, as if he'd repeatedly clawed at it to the point of bleeding.

“I'm sorry for you, lad. I won't ask anything of you, if that makes you feel any better?”

“Oh, I know you won't. I mean, I... I've seen you with Fili and... well. That's why I decided to tell you, because I thought you'd know how I feel. I... It's Kili, by the way. It's him I love. I suppose you deserve to know that, too?”

Dwalin frowned again.

“I hate to have to tell you, lad, but Kili's... How to say it, he's not...”

“I know. And I know Fili isn't either. I... _know, y_ ou know?”

The way he said it carried the words he could not bring himself to say well enough. So the princes really were soulmates, then. These things happened, of course, especially for siblings who'd been born close, or so he'd heard.

“A mighty pair we'll make then,” he laughed sadly. “Mooning like elves after princes who're perfectly fine without us. Ah, well. At least Mahal chose well. There are worse people than you to be stuck with for the rest of my life, whether we ever become lovers or not.”

“Thank you, I suppose? And, well. I am so glad you take it that way. I'd have been very cross if you'd been angry at me. I really like you a great deal, mister Dwalin.”

“Fear not lad, I'm not the sort to have a lover by force. Now get dressed. I wouldn't want Dori to see us like this, he might get the wrong idea, don't you think?”

Blushing profusely, Ori put all his things back on and tried his best to make it look as if he hadn't done anything indecent. Dwalin looked at him, and grinned.

The lad wasn't his first choice, nor even his second one, but he really could have been fated to someone much worse. He did rather like the lad, even if he'd never even considered him as a potential romantic partner before.

It would come, he felt sure of it. In due time, it would come.

Even if that meant having to wait until they were both other their silly infatuations, he didn't mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tend to see Ori and Dwalin more as best bros than lovers... so their relation will probably be rather slow build? well. Slowish.  
> Actually, nevermind, I have no idea how it's going to happen because these characters are refusing to listen to me.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dwalin and Ori learn to deal with their new knowledge  
> some people aren't happy with it.

They had agreed that having each other’s Mark should not change their budding friendship, and it did not. Or at least, not in a way that Dwalin could object to. They spent more time together, more often than not observing the princes or talking about them, making fun of themselves for their unrequited feelings. Ori seemed extremely relieved to be able to talk about that, and it had Dwalin wondering how long the lad had been alone with his impossible love, not having anyone to confide to. Then again, with only Dori and Kili as his only choices, keeping silent had to be the one thing he could do.

Not that their affection for the princes was the only thing they talked about. As if the reveal of their link had rid him of some of his shyness, Ori was daring to make a few jokes now and then. He’d been very tentative at first, as if he’d been told before that his references to old, obscure tales weren’t funny, but once he’d realized that Dwalin understood those references, he became unstoppable.

“How do you even know the saga of Egill?” he chuckled after a very unflattering comparison between Egill and Gloin. “Most people haven’t even heard of it.”

“Used to read a lot in Erebor. The entire reason I started training with weapons was to become like the great heroes of old tales. Whenever I wasn’t fighting I had my nose in a book. My father despaired of me. Wanted me to learn ‘bout politics and mines so I’d help him and Balin, and instead I dreamed of battles and adventures.”

“He must have been disappointed.”

“Parents often are. Bet Dori wasn’t too happy when you took to writing, was he?”

Ori sighed, and nodded. “Not a very dwarvish trade. I mean, it could be worse, I could… be growing vegetables or something, but people don’t call me a hobbit for nothing.”

“People don’t call you that.”

“They do. Fili does. Nori does, when he thinks I need to loosen up, and Dori’s taken to using it as a pet name. I… Kili was the first one to not call me that at all…”

Dwalin frowned. He’d have to have words with Fili. And maybe with Ori’s brothers too, if he ever heard them calling him that. There was nothing wrong with being a hobbit, not if you really were one (and Bilbo was a fairly decent lad, for all that he was soft and unused to the wild) but it was insulting both Ori and the hobbits to call him one.

“Kili’s a good lad,” was his only comment. “And I’m sorry people have treated you badly. I can teach you an insult or two to throw them in their face, if you want.”

“Oh, I know a few already. With Nori as a brother and all that reading I do, how could I not?”

“Ah, but my insults come with a bonus, lad.”

“And what’s that?”

“If you use them on someone who attacked you, I _will_ help make sure they never do that again.”

Ori giggled loudly at that (earning himself a dark look from Dori, and from the princes).

“I might be tempted to accept your lessons then,” he grinned.

Dwalin grinned back.

It might not be so bad to fall in love with the lad one day.

And he wasn't just good at knowing stories too, he made them come to life with words and drawings.

* * *

 

Ori had been rather shy about his drawings at first. The only one in the company allowed to see them was Kili (though Nori occasionally stole his brother's book, and Thorin probably could have seen it if he'd asked). It had taken quite a while before one night, the lad had finally agreed to let Dwalin see his work.

And Dwalin was impressed to say the least.

There wasn't much yet, because Ori didn't want to run out of room to draw and take notes, not when he only had that book and another one for the entire journey, but he had drawn the portrait of their entire company, as well as a sketch or two of some nice places they had gone through. Dwalin complimented him on it, of course. Dis had told him the lad was good at what he did, but he hadn't imagined he was _that_ good.

“Oh, it could be better,” Ori mumbled with a shy little smile. “I mean, there's many people much more talented than me in Ered Luin, good enough to have an actual job instead of being forced to go after dragons. Not that I mind! I'm really glad I came, I am!”

“I know that, lad. Still, believe it or not, you're good, very good.”

“I'm not...”

“You are,” Bilbo said behind them, making them both jump (damn hobbits and their light feet). “And I've seen some very good drawings, let me tell you. One of my cousins is a painter, and I have a portrait of my mother done by an elf, I know what good art is, and this is very good.”

Ori blushed at that, and looked like he was trying to hide in his scarf, but he seemed extremely happy of the compliment paid to him. He even forgot to be embarrassed when Bilbo noticed that he had an entire page full of Kili’s face, with the occasional apparition from Fili.

“They are rather pretty, aren’t they?” the hobbit noted. “Kili has an almost elfish side to him now that I think of it.”

“That’s not a very nice thing to say, mister Baggins,” Ori protested softly. “He can’t help the way he looks, and he… he has a lot of charm, he really does, and when he smiles you don’t really notice the elfishness anymore.”

“Saying a dwarf looks like an elf is an insult,” Dwalin explained in answer to the hobbit’s baffled look. “Kili’s none too pretty, but thank the Maker he’s got a nice personnality to compensate for it, doesn’t he, Ori?”

The young scribe glared at him, clearly not too amused.

“He’s a very nice fellow indeed,” Ori replied a little dryly. “But so is his brother, and Fili’s so very handsome too, isn’t he?”

“He certainly has a big nose,” Dwalin admitted with a grin. “And you know what they say ‘bout that, eh?”

Ori sniggered at that, trying to muffle it in his scarf and failing, while Bilbo asked what it was, exactly, that they said about dwarves with big noses. The hobbit seemed rather cross when they both started laughing, and he quickly left, grumbling against dwarves and their ridiculous sense of humour.

“You really shouldn’t tease me ‘bout that,” Ori complained playfully once they had calmed a little. “It’s not very nice.”

“You’ve got to learn how to laugh at it, lad,” Dwalin answered, ruffling his hair. “It makes it a good deal easier to live with it until it goes away.”

Ori smiled at him then, that sad little smile of his that clearly said how little he believed that his feelings for Kili would ever go away. Dwalin had decided already that he would _not_ try to convince the lad that the feelings would disappear one day; he still remembered too well how he'd been when he'd realized he'd never have that poet he'd loved so long ago, and Balin telling him that he'd get over it had _not_ helped. It had just made him want to punch his brother, which he'd done once, actually.

He was still trying to find what he could say instead when Dori approached them, and asked if he could have a word in private with Dwalin. Something about the _extreme_ politeness in his voice made it clear that refusing wasn't an option, so the warrior excused himself to Ori, and followed Dori a little way from their camp.

“Mister Dwalin, I'll go straight to the point,” the silver haired dwarf announced. “What are your intention towards my little brother?”

Dwalin cringed. That was a conversation he should have expected, of course. With all the time Ori and him spent together, he should have realized that the others would notice, and especially the lad's brothers. He should also have known they'd get the wrong idea (well, wrong for the moment. It'd become the right idea one day, if they were lucky, but he didn't expect them to get there before a decade or two at best).

“We are friends,” he answered. “Good friends. Your brother's a bright lad, clever with words and not too bad with weapons when he feels like it.”

“And so it's only friendship that makes you ride next to him, talk to him, teach him, laugh with him and touch him this way?”

“Is it a problem that we get along, master Dori?”

“Not as long as he knows there's nothing more to it,” the other dwarf claimed. “My brother is welcomed to have friends if he chooses to. I'd encourage it even, Mahal knows the boy could use that. But if you are playing with him, or if you make it seem like he'll get more than friendship out of this, or if you use him in any way, even being Thorin's friend will not save you from me. Do you understand me?”

Dwalin grunted in agreement. That was a fair threat, and one he knew Dori could and would make true if he had to, and if Nori joined him, they'd never find his body.

Instantly, Dori's face softened, and he smiled kindly.

“I am glad that my brother found a friend in you, mister Dwalin. You seem to have a good influence on him. He's grown a good deal less shy lately, and I thank you for this.”

That could have gone worse, Dwalin thought as they returned near the others together. That could have gone a lot worse. Ori threw him a worried look as he came back, but Dwalin signed to him that all was fine, and that he seemed to worry a little less after that.

“Dwalin, you'll take the first watch tonight,” Thorin announced. “Everyone else, to sleep. We have a long day coming tomorrow, and I fear we might have rain.”

 

* * *

 

The others had been snoring for a long moment already when Dwalin saw heard Fili move. That didn't alarm him. The lad probably had to make water, and would go back to sleep soon, he thought.

It was a bit of a surprise when instead, the prince came to sit next to him, looking furious.

“He's not for you,” Fili growled straight off. Then, when Dwalin only frowned, he sighed and added “Ori. He'd not for you. You shouldn't try to be with him. He's not a good dwarf, not for you.”

“He's a good lad,” Dwalin answered carefully, “and he makes a good friend.”

“He's not a good anything!” Fili snapped. “He... he's a bad dwarf. You deserve better than him. I don't know how he managed to seduce you, but you shouldn't trust him.”

Dwalin sighed. “Lad, he didn't...”

“He kissed Kili,” the prince whispered urgently. “He knew Kili already had his One, and yet he kissed him, and since now Kili won't fall for his tricks anymore, he's going after you, and I can't let that happen.”

Ah. That explained a lot, Dwalin thought. Like the fact that Ori was so uncomfortable around Kili, and Fili's hatred.

“We all make mistakes, little prince,” the warrior shrugged. “I am sorry that Ori's had to involve your brother, but I'm sure he's suffered enough from it, and that he's a sorry as a dwarf can be. And if it bothers you so much, why don't you just tell your brother not to go near him?”

“Kili can be trusted, even if Ori can't. And I'm worried about you, not about Kee. Ori's not a dwarf for you, you deserve better than him, you deserve... _better_.”

He stopped himself, pinching his lips, and Dwalin frowned. He wasn't sure he liked where this was going, just as he didn't like the desperate look in the prince's eyes.

“Lad, what are you trying to say, exactly?”

“Just what I've said. That you deserve better. And I _am_ better.”

And as if to prove it, he grabbed the side of Dwalin's head and dragged him down for a rough kiss. It was hot and messy, the prince using more teeth than he should have maybe, but that was the way Dwalin liked it best, kisses that felt like a fight.

It was perfect, all that he'd thought this might be, and then some more.

It took all of his strength to push the prince away.

“We shouldn't be doing this, lad,” he grunted. “You've got Kili, and I... have Ori.”

Fili's face fell at that.

“So you and Ori...”

“Like you and Kili, yes,” Dwalin lied.

And it was easier to lie, wasn't it? The truth was too complicated.

“He's not good for you,” Fili repeated. “He's not good for anyone.”

“He'll do nicely enough. And you more than anyone should know that we don't choose these things, shouldn't you? You and Kili... you wouldn't have chosen that, would you?”

Fili flinched at that, but he nodded.

“No, I wouldn't have chosen him,” he admitted. “I'd have chosen _you_.”

Dwalin felt his heart clench at that, and for a split second, the idea that he could have Fili, in spite of their Marks, crossed his mind. Mahal might have made a mistake with them, given them people that weren't meant for them. Fili could be his to love and touch...

But the Maker never made mistakes, of course.

“Sorry for you, lad,” he said, trying to sound as distant as he could. “But that's not happening. You should go back to your brother now. He'll worry if he wakes up and he doesn't find you.”

Looking downcast, the prince nodded, and left his side.

Dwalin forced himself not to look at him. It was better like that.

It hurt, but it was better like that.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili has a bad day.  
> Well, several ones, to be honest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dedicated to Thorinoakenshield/Durinesque who had a dreadful day.  
> I hope that the knowledge that Fili did too will help a bit?D:

Fili hated Ori, and he was starting to hope something would happen to him.

Something bad.

And painful.

Like, say, running into Fili's swords.

Repeatedly.

Ori was a bad dwarf. He had tried to steal away Kili once. Kili didn't see it that way, and still liked him and called him his friend, a fact Fili had decided to tolerate because it made his brother so miserable to be away from the scribe. But if the older prince trusted his brother, he still knew that Ori wasn't to be trusted, could never be trusted, because the damn fool was in love with Kili and would probably try again to seduce him if he could.

At least, that had been Fili's fear at first.

He'd never thought he'd have to worry about protecting _Dwalin_ from that faithless little minx.

He should have.

He'd said nothing in Ered Luin when Dwalin told him he'd started teaching Ori (and really, Fili felt stupid for not having guessed _then_ that the damn scribe would join his uncle's quest). He'd said nothing when Dwalin had started to compliment the stupid, tiny dwarf's wonderful progress. He'd said nothing when Ori had suddenly appeared at Bilbo's, spending one half of the evening with Kili, and the other with Dwalin. He’d said nothing when that pattern had continued once on the road, but with Ori avoiding Kili more and more, and spending more and more time with Dwalin. He’d said nothing when for days, Ori stopped talking to the warrior (though he _hoped_ , yes, that their friendship had gone to an early end). He’d said nothing when the two of them had talked again, suddenly closer than before, with Dwalin having that _look_ in his eyes, as if Ori were a mystery that he had to figure out.

It was time to say something when he saw Dori take Dwalin to the side, and Ori watching them anxiously.

He couldn’t lose Dwalin.

Not that Dwalin was his of course. Not _yet_. But Fili had _hopes_. One of his Marks bore a crest that _could_ have been Dwalin’s, and the two of them got along _so_ well, even if Dwalin hadn’t been as close to him since they’d left Ered Luin.

In fact, the young prince would have gone as far as saying that Dwalin was avoiding him, the same way Ori avoided Kili.

The only difference being that Dwalin was a wonderful, brave, funny, fascinating, honest dwarf, whereas Ori was a faithless whore.

So while Dwalin and Dori were talking, Fili went to see his uncle, and asked him if he could give the warrior the first watch of the night. The way Thorin had looked at him then had been judgmental to say the least, but that was his default face these days.

“Why would I do such a thing? You are on first watch duty, I’ve told you already.”

“I need to talk to Dwalin. Alone. Please.”

The judgment in his uncle’s eyes increased significantly at that.

“Why do you need to talk to him alone? And not just alone, I assume, but without anyone knowing it, or you’d take him to the side as Dori just did?”

“Can’t I just say that I’d like some privacy on this?”

“Not if you want me to help, no,” Thorin sternly answered. “I have no idea what new mischief you have in mind, but I do hope you know what you are doing. It is bad enough that you and your brother joked about orcs the other night. I would have expected better from my nephews, from my heir!”

The young prince cringed at that. Thorin had scolded them that night, and again most of the following morning, and he still hadn’t forgiven their (admittedly in bad taste) attempt at humour.

“I have apologized before, uncle!”

“There should be no need for apologies, you should have known better and not done it at all!”

Taking a deep breath, Fili forced himself to keep silent and to bend his head in submission. He briefly considered reminding Thorin that it was Kili who had started everything that night, but thought better. He’d tried that before, and apparently it was a crime that to point out the truth when you were your uncle’s heir.

Thorin did seem to appreciate his silence, though.

“So, _why_ do you want to talk to Dwalin?”

“Because I have private matters to discuss with him, and since it concerns some of the company, I would rather not...”

“You want to talk to him about his romance with Ori, then?”

Fili froze.

Thorin had noticed. Thorin, who never saw anything, who would never have known about him and Kili if he hadn’t walked in their room while they were making out, Thorin had noticed about Dwalin and Ori.

It was worse than he’d thought.

“I know you don’t like Ori,” Thorin grunted, “and that you and Dwalin are good friends. But the lad puts him in a good mood, and you should try to be happy for him. I’m not really sure what he sees in that boy, but there’s been a... connection between them since the first moment, there’s no denying it.”

It would have been kinder of Thorin to just open his chest and rip his heart out, Fili thought, though he did his best to maintain a polite smile. Maybe Ori was good at this little game, but his Mark was Dwalin’s, he was sure of it, and it would take more than a slut dressed in wool to change that.

“There’s nothing in the world that I want more than Dwalin’s happiness,” Fili replied. “Still, I want to talk to him in private. He is my friend, as you have said, and I feel it is normal for me to worry about him, isn’t it?”

“It is, indeed,” Thorin admitted, though he threw him a strange look. “Very well. I’ll put him on watch first. Make sure neither of you gets too distracted. There really _are_ orcs in this area.”

Fili thanked his uncle, and started thinking about what he would say. It was his one chance to save Dwalin from Ori, and to start hinting there could be more than friendship between them.

* * *

 

It had been his one chance.

And he had failed.

Dwalin would never be his, because Dwalin was Ori’s.

If the warrior had been linked to anyone else, Fili would have thought that this unknown third party was whoever his third Mark destined him to. But _Ori_?

That was just ridiculous.

* * *

 

He avoided talking to anyone the following morning. He distantly noted that Dwalin too seemed in a dark mood, even refusing to talk to Ori (who was forced to agree to riding with Kili, much to the young prince’s joy and to the young scribe’s pain). It should have pleased him to see that the warrior was just as affected as he was by their conversation. It didn’t.

Kili’s incredible good mood that day just added insult to injury. Fili half wanted to strangle him for daring to be happy.

It was a grim day, and they had rain for a good part of it, until the sun started to set, and they had to find a place to spend the night. Thorin elected an abandoned farm that seemed comfortable enough, and his first words were to send Fili and Kili away to watch over the ponies. The two princes shared a surprised look at that, and didn’t move until their uncle started getting angry that they were still there even though they had been given orders.

It was the first time they were left alone since that night when Thorin had discovered them. Well, second technically, they’d had five minutes alone when Balin had decided he’d go first into Bilbo’s smial, but that hardly counted, and Thorin didn’t know about it. Their uncle had made them promise they wouldn’t act as more than brothers, and proving once again what great trust he had in them, he had made sure they wouldn’t have the occasion to act improperly.

Until that night.

Fili wondered if Thorin had noticed his dark mood of the day, if he’d started trusted them, or if he’d just forgotten why they couldn’t be left alone.

His bet was on the third one.

But he wasn’t about to complain about it, not with the way Kili pushed him against a tree as soon as they were out of view to start kissing him softly and tenderly and in a way that had painfully nothing at all to do with how he’d kissed Dwalin the night before. Fili wondered if he’d ever be able to kiss anyone again without thinking of Dwalin.

Probably not.

Not for a long while, anyway.

“You know, you could at least pretend you’re paying attention,” Kili grumbled, glaring at him. “What’s gotten into you today? You’ve been awful since morning!”

“And you’ve been annoyingly cheerful, though you don’t hear me complain about it.”

Kili shrugged, and smirked.

“Well, you won’t be so _Thorinesque_ once I’ve told you what I have to tell you!” he chirped. “Guess what happened, try to guess! Oh, you’ll _never_ guess!”

“Your beard has finally started growing?”

Kili punched him in the shoulder, which he deserved, admittedly. It wasn’t nice to make fun of his brother just because he had to shave to better use his bow. Then again, he wasn’t in a mood to be nice.

“It’s not that, it’s something better!” Kili told him, smiling again. “It’s so good! It’s the best news in the history of good news!”

“Well, just...”

“I’ve got my other Marks!” the younger dwarf squealed, before grabbing him by the collar to kiss him again.

Fili didn’t kiss back, and pushed his brother away, grabbing Kili’s wrist to look at them, tearing away the fingerless gloves hiding the other’s skin.

The first Mark he uncovered was the one he had felt so sure was Dwalin’s. It felt like a slap.

“Yeah, that’s Balin and Oin’s family crest, isn’t it?” Kili laughed. “Same as yours, and the other one too. Mahal, I hope we won’t end up with Gimli. He’s nice and all, but he can be such a pain in the ass sometimes. And I wonder who the other family is? The crest feels familiar... Maybe I should ask Ori? He’ll know for sure! Well, maybe not for sure, but he’s more likely than us to know about commoners’ crests, so maybe I should just show it to him and... _hmf_!”

The younger prince was cut by a bruising kiss from his brother, and this time it was Fili’s turn to push him against a tree.

He didn’t want to think about that Mark they now shared and which he was still sure belonged to Dwalin, because Dwalin was the most wonderful dwarf ever, honest to a fault and strong, and the person for whom Fili cared most in the world after his brother. He didn’t want to think that Kili trusted Ori so much he was ready to show him his Marks as if it were nothing at all, as if Ori was as close as kin, even though the scribe was the worst dwarf Fili had ever met. 

He didn’t want to think about anything at all, and he knew no one would come looking for them, no one would care about them until dinner was ready, which left them plenty of time.

He’d never have the one he really wanted, but he could have Kili, and that was _almost_ as good.

“What are you _doing_?” Kili whispered between two hard kisses. “What if someone comes?”

“Let them come! When do you think we’ll have another chance to be alone?”

Kili sniggered at that, and joined their lips again, forcing his brother to go more slowly again. As if it were sweet and tender that Fili wanted, _craved_.

“You know, I’m supposed to be the one who’s young and impatient,” Kili pointed out, nuzzling at his brother’s neck.

“Oh, I bet you’d be impatient enough if it were Ori instead of me,” Fili grunted in answer.

And that, of course, was the wrong thing to say. He felt his little brother go tense in his arms while Kili’s hands clutched at his tunic, but the younger dwarf kept his head hidden against his brother’s neck.

“You said you’d forgiven me,” he whispered. “I _thought_ you’d forgiven me.”

Fili knew he should have comforted his brother, should have told him again that he had forgiven him indeed, that he trusted him. Any other day, he would have. But he had just lost any hope of ever having Dwalin, and Kili had look so damn happy all day, joking and talking with that stupid scribe, and it just wasn’t _fair_.

“Forgiveness doesn’t change the way you look at him.”

Kili whimpered against his skin.

“He’s just a friend!” he breathed miserably. “And I try not to... I don’t... he’s just a _friend_ , he’s always been just a friend. I’ve got you. I don’t need anyone else, not anyone that you don’t want too, and I know you’ll never want Ori... and that’s okay, because _he’s just my friend_ , and he’d never want me... we were just playing a bit and he wanted to help me... Mahal, Fee, it’s not like you’ve got anything to fear from him, do you?”

Fili didn’t answer. He wasn’t sure if he felt comforted by the idea that his brother didn’t know of Ori’s feeling for him, or hurt that the belief that Ori didn’t love him was the only preventing Kili from flirting with him. In the end, he felt there was only one thing he could do, for everyone’s good.

“Ori is Dwalin’s Soulmate,” he announced, and as expected, Kili instantly tore himself from his brother.

“How would you _know_ that?”

“Dwalin told me last night.”

“He what? But when... why would he... Fee, do you...”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Fili firmly announced. “There’s nothing to talk about, anyway.”

Kili still opened his mouth to say something, but after a long look at his brother, he closed it again and just pulled him in for a hug. Fili didn’t even consider resisting. Whatever desire he’d felt had gone away, but the closeness still felt good. It _had_ been a long time since they’d been alone, and even before the Marks, they had always enjoyed hugs and cuddles, but they couldn’t have that on the trip, because Thorin would have thought these touches would lead to other things.

But he had missed that greatly, just having Kili’s arms around him and holding him close in return.

It felt nice.

Until they heard the panicked cries of a pony.

Everything sort of went to Mordor after that.

Fili decided he’d really had better days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll just casually state that things are going to end well. I promise you a happy ending.  
> I also promise you that this end isn't so far anymore, two or three chapters maybe.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ori takes a decision, but doesn't quite figure out how to do what he wants to do, and more is revealed about Dwalin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have found the official song for this fic: http://trucsabazar.tumblr.com/post/53193306384/its-time-to-dualscar-newspaperrealities
> 
> And i would like to take this occasion to thank Quimera whose comment on the previous chapter made me change my plans a bit, for the best I thinkX3  
> (well. I'm not sure Ori's too happy with that change of plan, but I am because it helps me with the resolution of the story /o/)

It had all been going so well, Ori should have known it couldn’t last.

Everything had been so nice. Dwalin had accepted that they were linked against their will, and he had accepted that nothing would ever happen between them, and he had been a wonderful friend, listening to him when he’d talk about Kili, and helping him _escaping_ Kili when it became too painful to be near the dwarf he loved.

It had all been perfect. He’d started hoping things would stay that way. He shouldn’t have.

_Don’t get your hopes up_.

He’d known that Fili didn’t like him much. Fili had no reasons to like him, after all.

He had thought, though, that the prince would have been glad to see him try to spend less time with Kili, to see that Ori was trying hard to get on with his life and to make other friends. He had never imagined that these attempts would only end up making the prince hate him even more.

He wished he had been asleep that night. He wished he hadn’t heard Fili tell Dwalin about the greatest mistake of his life, the one thing he could never forgive himself (though he didn’t regret it, even knowing how wrong it had been), the fact that he’d kissed Kili. Certainly, Dwalin would hate him now.

And as if that wasn’t bad enough, he had to lie there in the dark and listen to Fili outright say that he wanted Dwalin, had to hear Dwalin reject the prince because of _him_ , because of a meaningless link that neither of them _wanted_. And he felt ashamed of himself for not daring to get up and tell them to just kiss and get on with it, but he felt sure that Fili would never forgive him for having overheard that conversation.

It was all so bloody unfair.

 

* * *

 

He didn’t sleep well that night, and from the looks of it, neither did Fili and Dwalin. They both looked as if they hadn’t slept at all, in fact, and the prince went to ride by his uncle’s side (never a good sign) while Dwalin chose to spend the morning with Balin (not a good sign either) which meant that Ori and Kili ended up teaming together.

It filled the young scribe with dread at first. Fili’s harsh words of the night before were still ringing to his ears. Fili didn’t trust him, didn’t want him near Kili, Fili hated him, Fili... Fili had been ready to cheat on his One with another dwarf, even though said One was the most amazing, kindest, funniest dwarf the world had ever known. Fili hated Ori for having done a thing he had now tried to do too.

It didn’t make Fili any less scary at the moment, but it did put things in perspective a little.

And it wasn’t such a bad day, in the end. Kili was strangely cheerful, more than he had been since... since Bilbo’s house at least. He didn’t seem to have realized the sudden bad mood of his brother, which was probably for the best, though he did joke a little about how grumpy Dwalin looked, and he managed to convince Ori to make an impersonation of the warrior that had him laughing so loud Thorin was forced to tell him to calm down.

It was nice, seeing him so happy. He hadn’t looked like that in so long, and Ori had missed it.

The young scribe wondered how sad Kili would be if Fili and Dwalin... were convinced to stop caring so much about Marks and such nonsense. Very sad, probably, because there was no doubt possible, Kili loved his brother. He would be heartbroken if Fili betrayed him.

Which meant Ori would have to make sure no betrayal would be involved.

He would not let Dwalin or Fili be as stupid as him, and do things behind people’s back. Certainly, there had to be a way to deal with this that would not end up with Kili being hurt. Maybe if he could convince the three of them to talk about it somehow... Fili and Dwalin loved each other, as did Fili and Kili, and Kili had a great admiration for Dwalin... surely, there was a way to make it work... A way to make the three of them happy...

He’d find a way to help them. For Dwalin’s sake, and for Kili’s.

 

* * *

 

Of course, he didn’t have much time to think about a plan that day. It was rather hard to concentrate with Kili next to him. It was even harder to concentrate when they stopped that night, because Thorin sent both his nephews to watch after the ponies together. No one else seemed to notice that, but Ori couldn’t have missed the impatience and love in Kili’s eyes as they walked away, and for the rest of the evening the young scribe was plagued with images of what the brothers could be doing. It was entirely too easy to imagine, really.

And he couldn’t even distract himself by talking to Dwalin, because the warrior was talking to Balin, and looking as if he didn’t want to be disturbed. Not by Ori, at least, because he smiled at Thorin when the king came to join them.

Not that Ori could blame him. He’d be angry too, if the only thing standing between him and his love was a scrawny little nothing of a dwarf who didn’t even _want_ to be his soulmate.

He’d find a way. For the three of them. (well, the two, really. He didn’t like Fili that much, to be fair, but since he was necessary to the other two’s happiness, then Ori would have to make him happy too).

But then, just as he sat down to eat and think, trolls happened.

 

* * *

 

Ori didn’t have a weapon.

He’d never really noticed it before, not with all the preparations for the journey and the stress and the relief of finally escaping Kili and his unrequited feeling (ah! and how well _that_ had worked...) but in spite of all his training with Dwalin, he’d still only taken his slingshot with him. No one had realized, not even when he’d had to borrow Dwalin’s hammer in the evening to train. No one had minded. Probably because no one had ever really thought he’d ever be involved in any sort of fighting.

So there he was, helping the others fight trolls.

With a slingshot.

Being _awesome_ at it, if he said so himself. If nothing else, training with Dwalin had given him good reflexes, and a certain confidence he’d never felt before, as if a little voice in his head looked at the gigantic creatures before him and told him “I can do that”.

It had all been for nothing in the end, because the trolls had captured Bilbo and they’d been forced to surrender, but he had still done his best, and he had, for the briefest of moments, felt _proud_ of himself.

A feeling that had been hard to maintain once tied very uncomfortably to a tree and put to roast above a fire. He had always suspected he’d die because of a terrible cook, but he had honestly thought that would be because Dori did dreadful things whenever he went in the kitchen. Trolls had never been involved in how he imagined his death.

Knowing that, in a way, he’d die with Dwalin and Kili... wasn’t much comfort, it _really_ wasn’t. He’d much rather have lived with them. Or away from them, even, as long as everyone lived.

It would have been quite the understatement to say that he was glad when, at last, Gandalf arrived and saved them, with some help from their hobbit.

The entire company was in a strange mood after that, and for the entire morning. Certainly, Nori and Gloin had their fun hiding bits of the treasure they found in the trolls’ cavern, but even that felt more like they acted merely out of habit. Normally, Nori would never have been content with hiding so little of it, and never all in one place, either. Nori was never that careless.

Trolls didn’t come down so far from the mountain, Balin said, and Gandalf seemed to agree, as did Dwalin, who had travelled that way before. They were all worried, Ori realized, and he didn’t like the idea at all. People like them weren’t supposed to get worried, they were supposed to be strong and to accept danger.

He didn’t like seeing Dwalin worried.

It made him want to go and comfort the older dwarf and promise him that everything would be fine, and wasn’t _that_ stupid. As if Ori could bring comfort of any sort to anyone.

So he just sat on a rock and rubbed his right wrist miserably. The trolls had tied it far too tight, and at a weird angle too, so that even half an hour after having been freed, a shooting pain came from it every time Ori tried to move it. It wasn’t broken (he’d had a broken wrist before, and he remembered how that felt), and it probably wasn’t sprained either (he also remembered how that felt) but it was rather painful nonetheless. He didn’t know what it was, but he hoped it wouldn’t last too long, because he couldn’t write like that, and if he couldn’t write, then he really was useless to the company.

“Problem with your hand, lad?” Dwalin asked him, making him jump in surprise.

This wasn’t good. Dwalin was probably still angry at him for existing, and if he realized that Ori was hurt, he might tell Thorin, who would get rid of him since he’d be useless if he couldn’t write, and Dwalin would be left alone to deal with the situation with Fili, and he’d do something very stupid, like not talking at all to Fili, and that would be bad.

“I’m fine,” Ori lied. “I’m all fine, really.”

“Yeah, and I’m an orc,” Dwalin grunted. “Don’t try to hide it, kid. You’ve got one of those faces, people can tell when you’re lying. So, what’s the matter?”

“Not sure,” he admitted. “Just, hurts a bit since the trolls tied us, but I’m sure it’ll go away soon enough.”

Dwalin frowned, clearly not convinced and asked to see his wrist. Ori immediately complied, and the older dwarf delicately took his arm in one hand, removing his fingerless glove with the other.

“What’s that, lad?”

Ori raised an eyebrow, and gasped in horror when he felt Dwalin’s finger on the Mark there. He’d grown so used to pretending his Ghost Marks didn’t exist that he’d forgotten they really were there. And now Dwalin had seen one of them.

“It’s nothing!” he yelped, hiding both arms behind his back. “They’re... they don’t matter, they’re just... it’s not...”

“Ghost Marks,” Dwalin growled. “I’ve heard about those.”

“You have?”

“Stories tell they show... unwanted love,” the warrior grunted, looking away. “Happens. If you want, we’ll get them hidden someday. Tattoos do the trick nicely, and you wouldn’t have to wear bloody mittens in summer that way.”

It was Ori’s turn to frown. After all the reading he’d done about Marks (and he’d done a lot of reading indeed, when he’d been younger and foolish and still hoping that one day, his Mark would appear and claim him as Kili’s) he’d never heard of that. He’d never even heard of Ghost Marks before Oin had announced his diagnostic.

But it was Dwalin’s comment about tattoos that really aroused his curiosity. After what he’d seen of Dwalin’s Mark, half hidden in the middle of a great tattoo, it couldn’t just be a coincidence that he’d suggest...

All pain forgotten, he grabbed one of Dwalin’s hands, groaning in frustration at the presence of the knuckle-dusters. But the warrior seemed to understand, and removed one of them. There was a thick dark blue line going all around his wrist, and Ori almost felt disappointed, until he turned the other’s arm just a little, and he could see that part of the tattoo was reflecting the light slightly. A part of the tattoo that formed a small cross with four dots, and above it the crest of the royal line of Durin.

Ori raised his head, and looked at Dwalin in surprised.

“The other side too,” the older dwarf sighed. “When they appeared I thought I’d gotten them one night where I’d drunk too much. I _do_ have a few tattoos that are the result of me getting pissed with the wrong people. So I just put a new design on top to hide it, but they were more than ink, I could still see them. Could still feel them, if that makes sense.”

Ori nodded. It made sense. Too much sense.

“It’s a human that told me what they were,” Dwalin continued. “He was married to his soulmate, but still in love with his best friend, and he had one of those on his skin. He said that was why he’d taken to travelling. Hurt too much to be home and see the two people he loved, while knowing there was one he’d never have.”

Ori stared a moment at Dwalin’s unwanted Mark.

And started laughing.

Not because he was feeling merry in any way, but because the other option was to cry, and he didn’t want that. Dwalin seemed confused by that sudden hilarity, so Ori forced himself to calm down to explain.

“It’s just... the Maker must be thinking it’s such a good joke, making us so in love with people we shouldn’t have... and marking us about it so we don’t forget how pathetic we are... he might be a god, but he’s good the humour of a ten years old dwarfling!”

Dwalin looked shocked that he’d mock the Maker at first, but then he looked at his wrist, and started laughing too.

“The pair we make, lad!” He roared merrily. “One more thing we have in common, then! Unwanted feeling that even Mahal’s making fun of!”

“Yes... we’re quite lucky the gods decided to gift us with Marks to make our lives easier, aren’t we?”

They remained laughing for a moment, until Dwalin remembered why he had asked to see Ori’s arm in the first place, and asked to have it shown again. He confirmed the scribe’s first idea: nothing was broken, and nothing seemed sprained either, it had just been kept in a bad position for a little too long. Dwalin offered to massage it to take some of the pain away, and the Ori readily agreed.

The younger dwarf soon noticed that his friend’s finger never touched his unwanted Mark, as if he too were trying to pretend it wasn’t there.

Which he probably was. Dwalin probably didn’t want another reminder of their complicated situation (and really, if they showed unrequited love, why two of them? It could make sense for Dwalin, who clearly liked Kili a lot, though not as much as his brother, but for Ori? He didn’t love Fili, he didn’t even like him, it was just ridiculous).

But their situation wasn’t so complicated, was it? Not for Dwalin, anyway, even if he was refusing to see it at the moment. The situation could be so easy, if Ori just managed to prove him that he should not worry about him, that he’d be fine. He had to convince him to go talk to Fili and Kili and negotiate something with them.

He just had to find the right words.

Should be easy enough.

Words were his job.

And this was for Dwalin’s good, and Kili’s.

He could do this.

He would do this.

 

* * *

 

Well, he would have done it, if orcs and wargs hadn’t come before he could figure out how to breach the subject.

 


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which things, at last, get better.

Kili rather liked Rivendell. For all that he’d been warned against elves, and how they were the most awful people of Middle-Earth after orcs and goblins, _this_ place was rather nice.

Well, the food was awful, of course. And Fili had been in a shitty mood since their conversation the night before. And Thorin was furious at both his nephews for having risked the life of their burglar, and of the entire company. And Ori had refused to eat next to him because he wanted to be with Dwalin, and Dori had taken the seat on his other side. And there was an elf playing the flute in such a dreadful way that Kili wanted to take the instrument away from her to show her how it was done.

But otherwise, it was good.

After all, they weren't making ready to sleep outside. They were even going to be given rooms, with actual proper beds. After weeks of sleeping on the ground (or at best, on hobbit's beds when they were at Bilbo's), he could have kissed the elf who made them leave their packs in various rooms before they went to eat (but the elf was very tall, and rather ugly).

And they had been invited to stay for a couple days if they wanted. A couple days without riding ponies or walking or running. A couple days of just sitting there and resting, and maybe making a few new arrows if he could find what he needed, and laughing with Ori...

Except Ori didn't really laugh much these days. Not with him. And when he did, it wasn't a real laughter, it was the fake one he had when he thought the world was one big joke, and he was the fall guy. Kili hated that laugh. It always made him want to... do things he wasn't really supposed to want to do, like take Ori in his arms and kiss him and promise he'd make things better.

He couldn't do that, of course. Because he was Fili's, and Ori was Dwalin's (though he felt it was a very stupid way of putting it, because he didn't belong to anyone, and neither did Ori). He didn't _mind_ being Fili's soulmate, because Fili was amazing and the most important person in his life, even if he was a bit of an ass sometimes. And he couldn't be angry that Ori was with Dwalin, because it did seem to make his little scribe happier and less shy, and Ori _laughed_ when he was with Dwalin, a real, proper laugh, and Dwalin seemed to like him a lot, and sometimes he'd look at the young dwarf as if he were something precious and strange.

Things were the way they were supposed to be, and everyone seemed rather happy with it.

Well, none of them had seemed to happy over the last few days, and Kili didn't feel happy either, but that would pass. It had just been a little stressful lately.

It would pass.

And the feelings he did _not_ feel for Ori would pass too. He just needed a little patience.

Patience, and better food. It was awfully hard to forget your problems when all you had to help you where carrots and celeries. He needed something tasty and drenched in fat and hot, and...

Down the table, he heard Ori ask for chips, and he laughed. The young scribe and him exchanged a small smile then, but then Ori's expression quickly became pained, and he turned away to talk to Dwalin, saying something that made the warrior sniggered.

It reminded Kili of those days in Ered Luin, when it was just the two of them and Ori smiled at _him_ , made _him_ laugh. He _wasn't_ jealous of Dwalin, he had no _right_ to, and Dwalin made Ori _happy_. But he _did_ miss the good old days, when everything was easy and there was nothing but him and Ori.

And now these days were gone.

He wouldn't have minded so much, if at least there had been good food to help him forget.

* * *

 

After what the elves called a feast (pah!) they were all invited to go to bed, and have a much needed night of rest, a much appreciated invitation since they had not slept in two days.

Fili and Kili had of course been put in a room with their uncle. The elves had offered to give Thorin a private room, as a mark of respect for his rank, but he had refused, claiming he would not part from his sister-sons, not even in a friendly house.

As if.

The moment the door closed on them, Thorin turned to his nephews, and told them exactly what he thought of their roles in the events of the previous night. Well, told them. More like shouted, really. He was furious, of course, not that Kili could blame him for it. It hadn't been the best of ideas to send their hobbit after the trolls, but they had panicked a little, and they hadn't thought the little one would _really_ do it.

Not to self: don't prank the hobbit anymore, he's trouble.

“And what were you doing anyway, when the trolls came and stole those ponies?” Thorin asked. “How could you miss a troll?”

The princes exchanged a quick look, and that was answer enough for their uncle.

“Is this how you reward my trust then?” he snarled. “You have been acting like children since the Shire, and yet I keep giving you chances to prove I made the right choice in taking you with me, but the only thing on your mind is...”

“We were just kissing!” Fili protested, and Kili cringed. That wasn't a good thing to say before their uncle, not at all. “You send us there alone, and we've barely been able to hold hands in, in _months_ , what did you _expect_?”

“I expected you to act with decency, and to remember what you had promised me! You swore you would act as brothers until Erebor was ours again and our positions secured!”

“Well, we _tried_ ,” Fili replied, “and it didn't work. Sorry. You'll just have to allow us even less time together, so that when we do get a minute together at last, we can't get our hands off of each other because we missed being together, how does that sound?”

Kili cringed again. It was going to be one of _these_ fights then. Thorin sometimes had them with their mother. Fights were people yelled at each other until they lost they voices but no one would admit that they were wrong, because that was how things went in their family. Until then, Fili had always avoided that, but after all the pressure of the travel, the pain of being so close but never together, and whatever it was that had happened with Dwalin ( _something_ had happened, that much was clear, but Kili didn't want to know _what_ ), it wasn't really surprised that he'd explode.

So he took a step back, and let Fili and Thorin start yelling at each other.

Felt just like home. Well, home on a bad day. It had been a long while since Kili had been witness to such arguments. It wasn't a thing he'd particularly missed. He tried to cut off the noise, concentrating on preparing for the night, undressing as silently as he could. He'd gotten rid of his coat, tunic and gloves, and he was unbuttoning his shirt when there was a knock on the door. Fili and Thorin calmed down immediately, and the older dwarf went to open, letting in a very wary Bilbo.

“You said I should come here after dinner,” the hobbit explained. “I would have come faster, but the place wasn't easy to find and I got lost. Twice.”

Thorin frowned at the joke, and Kili fought down a snigger. This was not the moment to anger their uncle even more.

“I asked that, indeed,” the king replied. “My nephews wanted to offer you apologies. And I will leave the three of you to discuss this. I must talk to Bofur. Come warn me when you're done with them.”

Bilbo was probably as surprised as the princes by that turn of event, but before he could protest, Thorin had gone. The hobbit huffed a little.

“I can't believe... I thought this was important!” he grumbled. “Apologies. Pah! As if that couldn't have waited until we'd all slept!”

The princes exchanged a look.

“This _is_ important,” Fili politely pointed out. “We gratuitously put you in grave danger, and for this, we owe you an apology, and you... you may ask whatever you want of us. We are in your debt, master Baggins.”

“Just for a joke gone wrong? I mean, I am angry at you boys, but I know you meant no harm. I don't want any favour from you two.”

Kili risked a glance at his brother. As he had feared, Fili had gone pale in shame at the idea that the hobbit wouldn't let them atone for what they'd done. It was as if Bilbo had told them that they could never redeem themselves, that he thought them unworthy of his forgiveness, and princes that they were, it was a terrible blow to their honour.

“You can't mean that, mister Boggins,” the youngest dwarf claimed, taking the few steps separating him for the hobbit and putting a hand on his shoulder. “I know we haven't always been as nice to you as we should have, but surely we haven't been that bad either? We will beg for your forgiveness, if that it what it takes!”

“Now, boy, no need to be so dramatic! I have forgiven you already, I just don't see the point of...”

The hobbit's voice faltered, his eyes set on the hand Kili had put on his shoulder. Or more exactly, on the wrist attached to that arm. The young dwarf wondered for a moment what could be so fascinating about his wrist, until he too looked, and saw that the Mark there was visible. Cheeks burning in embarrassment, he quickly hid both his arms behind his back, looking down at his feet. Bilbo seeing him naked would have been less bad than that.

“I am so sorry about that,” Kili mumbled. “I was getting ready to go to bed, I hadn't imagined we'd have company, or I'd never have...”

“Aren't these usually on the shoulder?” the hobbit noted. “I _thought_ they were...”

“They are were they are,” Fili cut him dryly, pulling his brother behind him as if to protect him. “Marks sometimes appear in unexpected places.”

“Of course, of course. But it's strange, I thought...”

“Marks are private,” the oldest prince remarked. “I don't know for hobbits, but we dwarves don't really talk about them with just _anyone_. It's not proper.”

Bilbo seemed horrified at the accusation of impropriety, and the princes thought he'd dropped the subject.

He did not.

“You said you two were now in my debt, did you not? So I assume I can call a favour from you, can't I?”

“That is the point, yes,” Fili answered. “You do not have to decide right away though, you can keep it in store for a later date when you'll need it, and...”

“That favour, can it be a question?”

The princes exchanged a look. “It... can be, of course,” Fili admitted. “Do you have one in mind already, or...”

“Oh, I do. See, not so long ago, I asked master Dwalin about Marks, since I don't have one myself, and he showed me his to illustrate something he was saying. And I thought Marks were unique.”

“They are,” Kili assure him. “I mean, the family crest is common to, well, the entire family, but the other part is unique and personal and just shared between you and your One.”

“Then how come the Mark on your wrist is the exact same one Dwalin had on his shoulder?” Bilbo asked, looking perplexed. “That's my favour, this question. I'd like to know that, because I thought I had figured out these, and it turns out I really hadn't.”

Kili saw his brother tense in front of him, and didn't feel too good himself. It couldn't... It was impossible. It'd be too...

“It can be the same one,” Fili snarled. “It just can't. They just looked the same, and you were mistaken.”

“I beg you pardon, I was not!” Bilbo protested. “I have a good visual memory, and I got a long look at it, and it was the very same one, even the crest on top of it was the same, so I'd like to understand. Is it a thing that happens with dwarves?”

“N-not really,” Kili answered hesitantly. “I... you really are _sure_?”

Bilbo nodded firmly, and the young prince frowned. One of their Marks did have the crest of Dwalin's family, of course, and they both rather liked him ( _more_ than liked maybe, in Fili's case, though he tried not to think about that, because it made him sad), so it wouldn't be so bad. At least, Kili felt he could live with that, if it were true, and he knew Fili would be happy of such a turn of event. Or he should have been, at least. Instead, his brother, just stared at him in horror.

That was when Kili remembered their conversation of the night before.

Fili had told him who Dwalin's one was.

Ori.

That fourth Mark was Ori's.

It was like being hit by a boulder in the shoulder, but in the most wonderful way ever. One of his Marks was Ori's. He could be with Ori, because he had his Mark, and life felt so amazing knowing this that he might have cried.

Instead, he ran out of the room.

He had to find Ori, he had to tell him, had to show him his Mark, had to kiss him, had to be with him, had to...

He didn't get far before Fili caught up with him and pushed him against a wall.

“What are you doing?” Kili complained.

“What are _you_ doing?” his brother retorted. “You're not _seriously_ going to see Ori, are you?”

Kili almost asked why he shouldn't, but before he could even open his mouth, the answer came to him.

He couldn't go to Ori because Mark or no Mark, Fili still hated the young scribe, and Kili couldn't be with someone his brother hated. He liked Ori a lot, he might even love him, but that would never compare to how important Fili was. Fili came before anything else.

He couldn't go to Ori because Mark or no Mark, Ori didn't love him, even avoided him these days, as if he found the prince annoying.

He couldn't go to Ori because a Mark had forced him to reconsider his relationship to Fili once, and it had brought them so much pain, it still did, and he couldn't make anyone go through all that again, and especially not Ori who had enough issues as it was.

He couldn't go to Ori, and it wasn't fair, and it hurt, but he just couldn't.

“Are we going to have to keep it secret then?” Kili whispered, not daring to look at his brother. “It'd be better, wouldn't it? Mahal, it'd be so weird for them to know, better not say a thing. Remember how weird it was for us?”

“Kili.”

“And it's not like they'd want this, either. I mean, maybe Dwalin would. He likes you a whole lot, doesn't he? But _Ori_ doesn't like either of us.”

“Kili...”

“Well, he likes me a bit, or he'd never have offered... and we are friends, of course, but barely, and I don't think he'd be too happy to know I have his Mark, because he thinks they are crap and everything. And he doesn't like you much, either. I think he's a little afraid of you, not without reason. Not that you can be blamed for it, it's just that you two...”

“Kili!”

The youngest prince stopped talking and looked at his brother. Fili looked... strange. There was a mix of several things on his face, anger maybe, but pain too. Pain mostly. And how could he not have been pained, seeing his brother, his One, rush like that toward another?

“I'll never tell him a thing,” Kili whispered. “I swear, I'll never say anything. I don't... I don't even want him,” he lied, and the words _hurt_ as he said them. “I don't need him, I don't need anyone as long as I have you.”

Fili's soft kiss then was a surprise, especially in such an open, public place, but before the youngest prince had time to panic about being seen, his brother pulled away.

“You're an idiot, Kili. You really are.”

“I'm so sorry,” Kili mumbled, though he wasn't sure what he was apologizing for exactly. Every single thing he'd ever done in his life, probably.

“A bloody idiot,” Fili repeated. He bit his lip then, and took a deep breathe. “Kili. He loves you.”

Kili frowned. “Who does?”

“ _Ori does_ , you damn idiot! Who else would we give a fuck about? Ori, that stupid little... well. Ori. He loves you.”

“You're having me on.”

“About this? Kee, you really think I'd make fun of... you really think I'd do anything to make you go to him if it weren't true?”

“It could be a test,” Kili replied warily. “You could be trying to see if I...”

“ _ **I'm not testing anything, I'm telling you that this little fucker loves you!**_ ”

Kili gasped, or sobbed maybe, he wasn't sure. He didn't care what embarrassing sound he made and it didn't matter, because there was no way Fili was lying, not when he looked as if his heart had been ripped right out of his chest.

Ori loved him.

The idea made him feel warm and happy, but made him want to cry at the same time. Ori loved him, and he loved Ori. It was wonderful. It was torture.

“I still won't have him,” he stammered. “I know you don't like him, and I could never... Even if I... you matter more, Fee. I couldn't... hurt you like that.”

Fili rose a hand to his brother's face, caressing his cheek. “You're an idiot,” he sighed. “You love him anyway, and yeah, it's... I don't get why you'd love him, because he's nothing but a little deceiving little shit and a liar, but you love him, and he loves you, and what the point of you hurting too when you can have him?”

“But...”

“I'm not doing this to be selfless,” Fili admitted, looking down. “If you distract Ori... if he's busy with you...”

“Dwalin.”

“Dwalin, yeah. Does... does it bother you?”

Kili shrugged. It _wasn't_ a surprise, and he liked Dwalin, and he'd have tolerated a lot if it could make Fili happy, if it could mean a chance to be with Ori...

“Dwalin's a good dwarf. He's old, and he's always been a complete bastard to us in training, but if he's who you want... I say go get him!”

Fili stared at him for a moment, and laughed, laughed until he couldn't breathe. Kili soon joined him, crying as much as he giggled, kissing every bit of his brother's face that he could get his lips on, feeling more free than he'd ever been since the day his first Mark had appeared.

“Which one do we talk to first?” Kili asked once they had calmed down a little.

“Dwalin. It's his Mark that Bilbo saw, so it's probably best to check with him first. And the less time I have to spend with Ori, the better.”

Kili sniggered at that. He felt too happy to care about anything.

* * *

 

It was Balin who opened the door, and he told them that his brother wasn't there.

“Ori came and said he wanted to talk to him about something,” the old dwarf explained. “Seemed important enough, I've never seen the lad so nervous, and that's saying a lot. I think I heard Ori mention the library, if that helps.”

It helped.

For a given value of helping.

They had to ask an elf for directions (well, Kili asked for directions, while Fili insisted he knew the way. As it turned out, he didn't, and the library was the other way) but they made it there in the end, and soon heard the voices of Ori and Dwalin.

Having what sounded like an argument. The princes exchanged a look. This didn't seem good.

As silently as they could, they walked closer, trying to remain unseen. Ori and Dwalin had found a remote corner, between two high bookshelves, and if the warrior wasn't shouting, it was a near thing.

“This is a stupid idea, lad!” he growled. “And I will _not_ listen to it! Things aren't easy, and they won't be for quite a while, but we'll find a way, there's no need...”

“There is a need,” Ori answered softly, his voice so low the princes could barely hear him. “It's making everyone unhappy, and all for nothing. You love Fili, I know that. And he loves you too...”

“You don't know that, lad!”

“I heard you, that night,” the young scribe admitted with a sad laugh. “I heard what he told you. He wants you, and you want him, and the only thing between you two is me, and that's stupid. I... I don't want you, not like that, not as... and I really don't think I ever will, and you'll never be happy with me...”

“Lad, you ache for the prince, I know that, but time will heal that, and the two of us will...”

“I don't want you, and I don't want to want you!” Ori shouted. “But Fili does, and I'm sure... you'd have to find a way with Kili, you can't hurt him, you can't do this behind his back. He'd have to be fine with it, you must talk to him first and ask him, you've got to promise! I'd never forgive you if you hurt him.”

“Laddie...”

“Promise you won't hurt him,” Ori sobbed. “All I want is for you and for Kili to be happy, the rest doesn't matter. I can manage, I'll have my writings and my drawings, I'll be just fine, I don't need more than that. So go to them, go to the princes, and just... talk to them. Please.”

Dwalin made a strange noise, something like a pained grunt.

Kili had heard enough. He dashed ahead before Fili could stop him, running to the other two dwarves, pushing Dwalin out of his way and taking Ori in his arms. The young scribe squeaked in surprise and fought back for a moment, until he realized it was Kili holding him.

“What are you doing here?” Ori gasped with horror. “How long have you...”

“Long enough,” Kili claimed, kissing his brow. It made Ori shiver against him, but the small dwarf didn't fight, didn't push him away, and it all felt _right_. “Just long enough.”

From the corner of his eye he could see Dwalin glowering at him, but the tall warrior was quickly distracted when Fili joined them, rolling his eyes at Kili.

“What are you lads doing here?” Dwalin growled, though he sounded more worried than angry.

“Well, as it happens, we were looking for you,” Fili announced in that tone he had when he was trying to sound confident, but really wasn't. “We've got a thing or two to discuss, things that, apparently, you were discussing too. What an extraordinary coincidence. Seems for once, Ori had a good idea.”

Kili felt Ori tense in his arms, and he glared at his brother.

“What Fili means is that we've had a fascinating discussion with mister Boggins,” the young prince explained. “A discussion about Marks. Apparently, he'd seen yours, mister Dwalin, and imagine his surprise when he saw the exact same one on my wrist.”

“You're joking,” Ori whispered. “You've got to be joking.”

The young prince shook his head, and presented to him his arm, before holding it out for Dwalin to see.

“Ghost Marks,” the warrior breathed. “So you too...”

“Got them too,” Fili announced, uncovering the wrist that bore Dwalin's Mark. “See? Not sure they're anything ghostly about them, but they certainly are Marks.”

The older dwarf grabbed the prince's arm, delicately touching the Mark there with the tip of a finger, before glaring at the young one.

“You didn't speak of that the other day,” he said accusingly.

“I sort of have a bad experience with showing Marks to people before the time for it has come. And It's hardly proper to come to some and claim a right to them just because you've got their crest on your bloody skin, don't you think?”

“You're doing it now, though.”

Fili brushed it off with a little hand wave. “That's very different. If I had done that the other night, I'd have been assuming. Tonight, I know. Very different.” He grabbed Dwalin's collar, probably to drag him down for a kiss, but the older dwarf resisted.

“What's the matter now?” Fili grumbled. “You want this, I want this, everyone wants this, so why...”

“Ori's not to be left behind,” Dwalin announced. “I know you don't like him much, but there's no leaving him out of things.”

“As if!” Kili laughed, kissing the top of Ori's head, making him blush. “I've got him, I'm keeping him. Fili said he was okay with it,” he added when the younger dwarf opened his mouth to protest. “It's fine, it's all fine. I'm yours now, and you're all mine.”

To prove his point, he bent down to kiss the small scribe, and the feeling of Ori's lips against his made his heart ache. He had missed this. It was so different from being with Fili. His brother tended to be a little rough, biting his lips sometimes, but Ori was all sweetness and loveliness and something that always made him want _more_. It took the little one a few moment to realize what was happening, but once he had recovered from his surprise, he made a hungry noise at the back of his throat and threw his arms around Kili's neck, pulling him closer.

Neither of them noticed the jealousy and lust in the other two's eyes, but Kili probably wouldn't have minded anyway.

“Convinced that the little fucker will be taken care of?” Fili asked. “I won't ask you or Kili to leave him. I don't have a clue what you two see in him, but you want him, you have him. Now, can I have what I want, or are you going to make a new excuse to not kiss me?”

“Guess I'll have to, yes.”

“You make it sound like such a terrible chore.”

“It is. But you're my prince, lad, and so when you order, I must obey.”

Fili sniggered. “Then I order you to kiss me without further delay, you old thing.”

Dwalin grinned, and kissed him.

And all was well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There'll be a last chapter/epilogue, and then, we'll be done, folks :D  
> well, or maybe not. I would like to write about Dwalin and Ori's relation a bit more (since it needs a bit more time to build) and Ori and Fili's (since it needs a LOT more time to get better) so there might be a one-shot or two later one...  
> But still, we're getting to the end :)


	16. epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the morning after

Dwalin woke up stiff from the cold. He was too old to sleep outdoor without proper equipment. He had thought not being alone would keep him warm enough, but he’d been wrong.

He didn’t mind.

It had been worth it, to wake up with Fili half draped over him, looking every bit like a happy kitten.

 

_“I want to see it,” Fili had asked._

_“See what?”_

_“Your Mark. Mine. I want to see it.”_

_The lad had just dragged him out of the library, looking pleasantly determined (Dwalin didn’t want to know if the prince wanted privacy so much, or if he just couldn’t stand Ori’s company anymore. In both cases, it worked in his favour) and they’d found a garden that offered a few nice hiding places._

_And as soon as they’d been seated, Fili had requested to see his Mark. Dwalin had complied, explaining about his tattoos as he removed one knuckle-duster. When he’d held out his arm to the prince, Fili had frowned._

_“That’s not mine.”_

_Dwalin had frozen on the spot, but Fili had just laughed._

_“I meant that it’s Kili’s, rather than mine. You’ve got another one, right? Must be mine. Show it, I want to see it.”_

_Breathing again, Dwalin had obeyed. He’d shivered when Fili had touched the small pattern hidden under his tattoo, identical to the other one, but apparently very different to the lad's eyes._

_“Yeah, this one’s mine,” the prince had breathed, before lifting Dwalin’s wrist to his lip to kiss the Mark. It had felt like the most intimate thing Dwalin had ever done._

_It had felt **right**._

 

No matter how still Dwalin tried to stay, Fili awoke soon after him. He seemed a little surprised at first, as if he didn’t remember how he’d gotten there. But when their eyes met, the prince grinned widely.

“I am fucking cold,” he cheerfully announced, “and I don’t give a damn.”

“Same here, but my back’s going to hurt today. You’re heavy, lad.”

“Poor, unfortunate you. I’ll give you a massage later on, if you want. But I’d like to eat first.”

Dwalin grunted something about elves and their rabbit food, but he was hungry too, and carrots were better than nothing. He pushed Fili to the side, certain that the lad wouldn’t mind a little bit of playful roughness, and they tried to retrieve their clothes. They hadn’t undressed entirely, because there were elves around, but it still took them a couple minutes to find again everything that they had removed during the night.

Once dressed, they had to find their way back to the others. That turned out to be a bit of a challenge, and Fili was furious to be forced to ask for direction from an elf. Dwalin laughed at him the entire time for being no better than his uncle (though to be fair, most dwarves had trouble above ground. He was a bit of an exception, as were Nori, Bifur, Bofur and Bombur).

Everyone was having breakfast when they arrived. Everyone except Kili and Ori, but Dwalin would have been surprised to see them anyway. These two probably had a lot to talk about.

He felt a slight pinch of jealousy, thinking of Ori with the prince. He liked the lad, liked him a lot, and he’d started to get used to the idea that they’d probably fall in love one day... and he still hoped it would happen. He liked Ori, just as much as he liked Fili, though in a different way, for different reasons.

But that would wait. He could wait. He was used to waiting, and by the looks of it, patience was the key with the young scribe.

First, breakfast.

Breakfast, and Thorin, who’d risen from his chair as soon as he’d seen them, looking torn between anger and worry as he walked to meet them.

“You didn’t sleep in our room,” the king whispered urgently, grabbing Fili’s arm to drag him out of the room, “and neither did your brother. Bilbo couldn’t tell me anything, that useless halfling was bloody vague, he just said you’d left together! What were you _doing_?”

Fili blushed, and Dwalin, who had followed them outside, thought it better to intervene.

“We were training,” he explained, and Thorin jumped, having not noticed him.

“Training? In the middle of the night? With all his weapon still in our room?”

“Wrestling training,” Dwalin claimed, glaring at Fili when the prince sniggered. “Helps deal with the stress, that sort of things.”

“Oh, yeah, great for the nerves,” Fili added with a blank face.

Thorin threw them a suspicious glance, the sort of look that said it was too early in the morning for him to deal with their humour.

“Where’s Kili?”

“I think he’s with Ori,” Dwalin lightly answered. “Last I saw them, they were in the library, and Ori wanted to show him something nice.”

It was hard to keep a straight face with both Durins glaring at him like that, but Dwalin managed it.

“I think I do not want to know,” Thorin growled, pinching his nose. “I was just starting to understand this, and now I really do not want to know. But whatever you do, I don’t want to hear about it, and I don’t want anyone else to hear about it, are we clear?”

“Clear as water, uncle,” Fili merrily agreed.

Thorin grunted, rolling his eyes, and he went back to the table. To the elf who served them, he asked if he could get something strong to drink.

“He’ll get used to it,” Fili decided.

“If he drinks elven stuff, he could get used to anything,” Dwalin retorted. “Fruit liqueurs, my ass. Take it from me lad, if it’s an elf offering it, don’t drink it, because the stuff they take could kill a grown dwarf.”

“Sounds like you’ve tried it yourself.”

“I have. Keep that in mind the day we have time, and you see me naked. The elves have that thing they call schnapps, and I owe it a tattoo or two.”

Fili laughed, as if it were a good joke.

It _wasn’t_.

 

* * *

 

Breakfast was slightly less awful than expected. They had bread this time, and properly cooked things (dinner had probably been a prank, then. Elves and their sense of humour...). Ori and Kili didn’t appear at all, but Dwalin made sure to grab some bread for them, and Fili stole a jug of water.

They found the kids with some help from (yet another) elf, who told them the two young ones had last been seen near one of the waterfalls, and that was indeed where they found them, lying side by side against the cliff and kissing lazily. Ori had dropped his tunic to the side (it was a rather warm morning), but his scarf was around Kili’s neck (the lad had left his room the previous night with nothing but a thin shirt on). It was a rather sweet sight, though once again, Dwalin felt his stomach twist with what could only be jealousy. Next to him, Fili grunted unhappily, glaring at the other two as if their kissing was a personal attack to him.

He probably took it as such.

They would have to talk about that, Dwalin decided. Later, when everything would be so fresh, when it wouldn’t all feel so fragile, Dwalin would have to try and make Fili see that Ori had never meant any harm, and how awful he felt about what he’d done, and he’d tell the prince that just tolerating the lad wasn’t enough, that he had to make the effort of not treating him as if he didn’t deserve to be alive. Ori had little confidence as it was, he didn’t need anyone close to him to make it worse (and Fili _was_ close, one way or another. Ori bore his Mark too, and Fili had Ori’s, even if there was little love between them for now).

But that would be later.

For now, Dwalin and Fili went to meet the two young ones, who quickly separated once they noticed they weren’t alone anymore. Ori seemed rather embarrassed to be caught like this, and he quickly grabbed his tunic to give himself a countenance, while Kili seemed perfectly comfortable and looked happier than Dwalin had seen him in a long while.

“We brought you guys food,” Fili announced, grabbing a piece of bread from Dwalin and waving it in front of his brother’s nose. “But I don’t know if you deserve it, leaving me to deal with uncle alone. He thought we’d spent the night shagging.”

“Well, we sort of did,” Kili replied, which made Ori blush.

“He thought we were shagging _each other_.”

“Details. It’ll happen too sooner or later, maybe it’s time he starts getting used to the idea. Now give me a piece of that, I’m _starving_.”

“You still don’t deserve it.”

Kili grinned at that, and grabbed the hem of his brother’s coat, pulling him down. The jug of water that the oldest prince was carrying fell on Ori (Dwalin wondered if _that_ really was an accident) but the two princes didn’t seem to mind, playfully wrestling a moment for the bread until Kili used the dirty trick of kissing his brother to distract him. Fili’s half second of surprise was enough for Kili to snatch the loaf away and throw it at Ori who caught it with a frown, staring at the kissing brothers.

Not that Dwalin could blame him for that. It was one thing to know that the princes were Soulmates, and quite another to see them acting as lovers. The warrior rather liked it. The boys looked nice together, they looked right in a way, and seeing them like this gave him all sorts of ideas. He wondered if they’d ever end up all in the same bed, the four of them. They’d have to discuss it at some point. The idea of having the three lads to himself was a very nice one.

As if he’d had the same idea, Fili turned to him then, frowning.

“This is okay, right? Kili and me, it’s...”

“Lad, I’d never think of getting between you two... certainly not with how pretty the two look together.”

Fili grinned at him, but next to the brothers, Ori still looked worried.

“Are we going to set rules?” he asked, looking at the bread to avoid their eyes. “I mean, if the Marks are to be trusted, it’s the four of us, but... but we don’t all...”

Feeling attacked (and probably with reasons this time) Fili glared at the young scribe, while Dwalin came to sit between them.

“We’ll probably need rules, you’re right,” the older dwarf said. “We need to talk ‘bout it at least, just like we would if there were just two of us. Personally, I don’t have any problem with being with any of you lads, or with any of you having a go at it without me. But if you ever decide you’d like to do something the three of you, I’d rather be warned of it, so I can watch.”

Kili sniggered at that, but he was the only one. Ori only fidgeted at his tunic, and Fili rolled his eyes.

“I think a good thing to do would be to say everything goes as long as it’s between us four,” Ori mumbled, “and that the people involved are fine with whatever is going on at the moment? I... it’d mean trusting each other to know what each one wants, and... what they don’t want. And it avoids the awkward bit of asking for permission and... I mean, that’s just an idea...”

“A _good_ idea,” Kili decided, smiling at him with open affection. “What d’you say, Fee?”

“I say I’d like it better if it wasn’t his,” the oldest prince grunted, earning himself a glare from both his lovers. “But that works for me, I suppose... though I’d like to add a rule that if any of us thinks one of us is hurt by anything, the others can and must say something.”

They all agreed that this, too, was a fair rule. Fili might have been thinking of protecting them from Ori when he suggested it, but Dwalin felt sure he could turn it to the young scribe’s benefit, if the prince didn’t warm up to him. And he loved Fili, he really did, but the lad seemed just as bad as his uncle when it came to holding a grudge, so it probably would be needed.

Things wouldn’t be easy, not by any definition of it.

But Dwalin hadn’t ended where he was by enjoying _easy_ , and neither had the boys.

And once they figured out how to make it all work, it’d be worth it.

It already was.

 

The End.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finiiiiiiished (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧  
> I hope you guys enjoyed the ride, even though most of it was just angst for the sake of angst...X3  
> It's not the last I'll write in this 'verse, as I've said before, but I'll try to go back to my other fics for a bit now... (this little thing has been doing WONDERS on several blocks I went through, but I have other stories that are gathering dust...XD)  
> see you again soon (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧


End file.
